3 Reasons Why Someone Won't Reply

Matt Lillywhite


According to Healthline, “Ghosting, or suddenly disappearing from someone’s life without so much as a call, email, or text, has become a common phenomenon in the modern dating world, and also in other social and professional settings.”

Ghosting can be extremely frustrating. It’s often an emotional rollercoaster since you go through so many ups and downs. Sometimes, you have beautiful conversations that last for hours. Other times, you struggle to get a response in less than a month.

During the past few years, there have been several moments where I’ve tried to become close with someone who ended up ghosting me. And unfortunately, I didn’t recognize the signs until it was too late.

So if you want to avoid being like my past self, here are several signs that someone is about to ghost you. These insights improved my life as I stopped paying attention to people who weren’t willing to do the same for me. Hopefully, they will do the same for you, too.

Communicating With Them Feels Like A Chore Instead Of A Passion.

Communicating with them often feels like a chore instead of something you genuinely enjoy. You don’t know how long they’ll take to respond. Perhaps it’s a day. Maybe a week… or even longer. You’re often left in the dark since you don’t know what’s on their mind or if you’ve done something wrong. Quoting an article published by Psychology Today:

“Ghosting gives you no cue for how to react. It creates the ultimate scenario of ambiguity. Should you be worried? What if they are hurt and lying in a hospital bed somewhere? Should you be upset? Maybe they are just a little busy and will be calling you at any moment. You don’t know how to react because you don’t really know what has happened.

It sucks, doesn’t it? But it doesn’t have to stay this way forever. Why? Because communication should be a two-way street. So if someone frequently shows a reluctance to explain why they’re unable to talk, it could be a sign that they’re about to ghost you.

They Pretend To Be A Submarine.

According to an article published by Bustle, “submarining is when someone you’ve been seeing/talking to vanishes without a trace (much like a submarine when it sinks to the depths of the ocean), then without warning, they resurface and slide back into your inbox like nothing ever happened.”

From personal experience, I’ve learned that submarining may come in the form of inconsistent communication patterns. For example, texting until the early hours of the morning for a few days in a row. Afterward, ghosting you for a few months until they feel like it’s convenient to talk again.

If that’s the case, you deserve better than that. Go somewhere else in the ocean. There’s plenty of fish in the sea. But it’s also important to remember that emotional unavailability could be the cause of someone displaying similar behavior to “submarining.”

So if someone doesn’t text you for weeks at a time, it’s certainly within the realm of possibility that the person you’re speaking to is emotionally unavailable. Keep that in mind.

They Run From Uncomfortable Situations.

I know many people who are genuinely terrified of showing their emotions or sharing how they feel. They hate uncomfortable conversations more than anything else in the world. So more often than not, they run. Quoting an articlepublished by The Huffington Post:

“There are many psychological reasons why someone ghosts, but at its core, ghosting is avoidance and often stems from fear of conflict. Which means, at its heart, that ghosting is about wanting to avoid confrontation, avoid difficult conversations, avoid hurting someone’s feelings.”

Arguments and disagreements are an inevitable part of any healthy relationship. They help you to find common ground, resolve any arguments, and forge a stronger relationship.

So if you’re talking to someone who frequently changes the subject whenever you disagree, it could be a potential sign that they’re about to ghost you. Don’t shy from conflict. Embrace it.

Pay attention to how they communicate. See if they pretend to be a submarine. Try to figure out if they’re afraid of uncomfortable conversations.

If you want to get off the emotional rollercoaster of ghosting, it’s important to recognize the signs. Doing so will help you invest time and energy into someone who’s willing to do the same for you.

Photo credit via Unsplash

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