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Matt Lillywhite

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When I first started dating, I often felt misunderstood. You see, most people think of introverts as shy. They believe that we’re just ordinary people who are afraid to come out of our shell, and show the extroverted side of our personality.

But that’s far from the truth. Being an introvert is a natural part of who we are. We can’t help it. Most people don’t realize that we aren’t trying to avoid social interactions or hide from the world. Instead, we’re just a lot more careful about who we give our energy to.

It’s no secret that dating an introvert is different. It’s unique. But if you embrace your partner for who they are, falling in love with them will be one of the most beautiful experiences of your life.

Here’s how.

As an introvert, I spend a lot of time in my head. I enjoy thinking about my friends, family, and what I can do each day to strengthen the quality of my relationships.

So when someone comes to me asking for advice, I listen. I’m not focused on anyone else or thinking about anything else. Instead, we go somewhere quiet, and I listen intently to what they have to say.

It’s the same when I fall in love. So whenever my partner has something on her mind, I stop what I’m doing, and ensure that her voice is heard. The Greek Philosopher, Epictetus said it best:

“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”

Sure, we may not talk as much as some people would like. We may not be the life of the party, or be able to strike up long conversations with total strangers. But here’s the thing: Introverts genuinely want to listen to other people.

We care about what you have to say, so we will help you in whatever way we can. We want to be a kind soul that you can trust and speak to in your time of need. We want to make you smile and be there for you when nobody else is.

So instead of concentrating on trivial aspects of life, we often make an effort to focus our mental energy on the things that matter. In other words, we want to do whatever we can to make our partner incredibly happy.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” — Leo Buscaglia

We often find ourselves wanting to discuss the deeper topics of life. Sure, it’s nice to know what you had for lunch, or hear about your adventures at the grocery store.

But the truth is that we want to spend our time with people that we find interesting, which can help us to explore meaningful topics in life. So if you want to improve the quality of your relationship with an introvert, it’s important to remember that we often find small talk extremely exhausting.

For example, I enjoy talking about how things work and what we can do to help the world become a better place. Of course, every introvert is different. But if you can find topics that you both consider to be interesting, we’re often happy to hold a conversation for as long as you desire.

The Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius, once said: “Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.” I love that quote. We want to know more than your favorite place to eat, or what you enjoy doing on the weekends. Instead, we want to know you on a much deeper and more meaningful level.

We’re genuinely curious. We want to know how you think, what you’re afraid of, and anything that keeps you awake at night. Because when someone becomes a massive part of our lives, we’ll naturally want to escape small talk and discuss things that genuinely matter.

Introverts are often focused on the big aspects of life, and what we can do to be much happier each day. But we’re also attentive to detail and find it easy to notice the small things.

We notice when you do your hair differently, smile in a certain way, or look at us as if we’ve fallen in love for the first time. We’ll remember the details of what you say during a conversation. We can tell you’re upset or overthinking, just by understanding your facial expressions.

We notice the twinkle in your eye, the way you look at us when you’re happy, and your beautiful smile when you say that “everything is going to be okay.”

Because as introverts, we don’t just try to understand ourselves. We also want to understand the people we care about, so we can improve every aspect of our life and relationships. In the words of Seneca:

“One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.”

Dating and falling in love with an introvert will undoubtedly be one of the best experiences of your life. We listen intently, care about what you have to say, and are willing to do whatever it takes to make you happy.

It’ll be a relationship like no other that you’ve had before. You’ll fall in love and quickly imagine being in a happy relationship for the rest of your life.

Sure, we may not go to large parties, and talk to strangers for several hours, until the early hours of the morning. But that’s okay.

Because we want to focus our mental energy solely on the person that matters most to us. And if you’re in love with an introvert, that person is you.

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