How To Overcome The Fear Of Talking To Women

Matt Lillywhite

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Do you ever find yourself feeling nervous about a date?

If you struggle to maintain a conversation, your response will be something the lines of “all the time.”

Right? You want to connect with people on a meaningful level & show them your incredible personality. But as soon as you begin having a conversation, your mind goes blank as you become unsure of what to say.

It sucks.

Consequently, you can’t help but feel like you screwed up your best chance of starting a relationship and living happily ever after for the rest of your lives.

Throughout my life, I’ve found myself in the same position as you many times. But I’ve discovered that asking the right questions is the best way to have an incredible first date as you’ll inspire positive emotions in the other person. In the words of Maya Angelou:

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

So below are several questions that will help you to build the foundation of a healthy relationship. Each one of them helped me to become confident while dating and improve every single one of my conversations. I’m sure they will do the same for you, too.

What Makes You Happy?

Asking questions about what someone enjoys is a great way to understand their way of thinking, and the type of experiences that they consider to be beneficial towards a happy life.

For example, if your date talks about experiencing different cultures, it provides you with an excellent opportunity to ask questions about travel & other topics they love.

One of the biggest reasons that we get nervous during conversations is due to a fear of rejection from the other person. After all, we want to create an incredible relationship but are often afraid of saying the wrong thing.

So if you’re asking questions about what makes the other person happy, taking a visible interest in their response will show that you genuinely care about what they’re saying. Epictetus said it best: “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”

What’s The Best Advice You’ve Ever Received?

I’ve discovered that you can tell a lot about someone’s personality by the type of content they consume. After all, the people we pay attention to throughout our lives help us to improve our mindset & fulfill our potential.

Last year, I fell into a deep abyss of depression due to the poor state of my mental health. Despite knowing that my life was falling apart, I did my best to remain optimistic as I wanted to learn from adversity & become a better person. In the words of Viktor Frankl:

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Whenever you go on a date, it provides a brilliant opportunity to get to know someone on a meaningful level. So if one piece of advice can change their life for the better, it could easily do the same for you, too.

What Do You Want Your Future To Look Like?

Marcus Aurelius says, “Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.” When you can show kindness & empathy in any conversation, you’ll discover that it’s easy to strengthen every single one of your relationships.

For example, if your date wants to work at a rescue sanctuary, having a passionate conversation about animals will show that you can easily connect with them on a meaningful level.

So take a moment to think about what you want your future to look like in ten years. And whenever you find yourself in a conversation, ask the other person to do the same.

You’ll discover that it’s an incredible exercise for building the foundations of a strong relationship.

What Are Five Things You’re Grateful For?

Research shows that being grateful can make you happier & improve the quality of your relationships. Quoting an article published by Harvard Medical School:

“Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.”

So if you want someone to enjoy the conversation on a date, I’ve discovered that getting them to discuss what they’re thankful for is a great place to start. In the words of Marcus Aurelius:

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”

Remember: If you want to have an incredible first date, all you need to do is ask questions that show a genuine interest in the other person.

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