4 Ways To Love Yourself More

Matt Lillywhite

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My level of confidence used to be as high as my chances of Elon Musk asking me if I want to go to Mars next week. Zero.

The reason? I used to have social anxiety. I always thought that people would judge me for the insecurities I saw in myself. And as a result of having little confidence, I continually listened to the voices inside my head that told me I wasn’t good enough.

But over the past few years, my entire life has changed for the better. The truth is that I didn’t do anything spectacular that required loads of money or large amounts of time. Instead, I practiced the following daily habits that helped me to love myself a lot more. Hopefully, they will help you, too.

Remember That Mistakes And Imperfections Are Totally Normal.

I used to find it difficult to look at myself in the mirror. There were many aspects of myself that I absolutely hated. For example:

  • I have a somewhat pointy chin. People used to bully me in high school and continuously said I looked like a nacho. As you can imagine, that didn’t do wonders for my confidence.
  • I’m not extremely muscular. I never have been. If you were to put Dwayne Johnson and me in the same room, he’d probably be 3x the size of me. Of course, I work out and do strength training exercises. But I certainly don’t look like the guys on the front of fitness magazines.

If you’re struggling to love and accept yourself, try to remember that nobody is perfect. Every single person on this planet of 7.8 billion people has insecurities and aspects of their appearance/personality that they want to change. You’re not alone.

Mistakes and imperfections are totally normal. In fact, they’re a natural part of who we are. They make us authentically human.

Accept That Some People Won’t Like You.

The only person’s opinion that matters is your own.

That took me an incredibly long time to realize. But once I accepted that it’s impossible to please everyone, my perspective on life quickly improved. It was like a lightbulb moment.

Suddenly, I stopped worrying about what people thought of me. I stopped spending time with people that didn’t like me and began to focus my time and energy solely on the people who do.

You can do the same. Don’t worry about being awkward when making new friends. Give people an opportunity to like you for you. And if they don’t, they’re probably not the type of people you want to be friends with anyway.

Write A List Of Things You Accomplish Each Day.

To-do lists suck. At least, I’m not a massive fan of them. Instead, I prefer “done” lists. Because when I can see a giant list of everything I accomplish each day, it’s much easier to feel like I’m making progress towards the life I desire. Quoting an article published by The Huffington Post:

“Nothing feels quite as good as getting something done. The moment you check off a task on your to-do list, you feel that little surge of self-esteem: You had to do a thing, you did it, now it’s done. 
It’s not just about efficiency, however. Every time you make progress, you’re also communicating a message to yourself and others: I’m capable. I’m productive. I can do this. And that goes a long way to building not only a sense of self-worth, but a sense of self-efficacy (the belief that you are capable of solving a task or problem), resilience, and even purpose.”

When you get out of bed at a reasonable time, write that achievement down in a “done” list.

When you spend a few minutes doing an activity that you enjoy, write that achievement down in a “done” list.

When you relax and take some time for yourself, write that achievement down in a “done” list.

Sure, they might seem like small accomplishments. But over time, acts of self-care can have a massive impact on your happiness & overall level of wellbeing.

Write Your Future Self A Letter.

I’m not exaggerating when I say this strategy can work wonders.

Write a letter to your future self. In it, write anything that’s on your mind. Because when you put your negative thoughts onto a page, they’re no longer trapped in your head.

Open the letter in a year from now (or whatever timeframe you desire). It’ll help you to recognize how much progress you’re making. After all, feelings of unhappiness aren’t permanent. Like a storm, they will someday be over. You just need to put one foot in front of the other until you reach your desired destination.

My friend, you can tame your inner critic and unleash your potential in every aspect of your life. The best way to start? Love yourself. Remember that imperfections are totally normal. Create a list of things you accomplish each day. Accept that some people inevitably won’t like you, but that’s okay. Write your future self a letter.

Each of these strategies helped me to make massive amounts of progress in becoming more confident. I feel much happier now. And once you implement them into your own life, I’m sure they will help you, as well.

I’m going to leave you with a beautiful quote from Steve Maraboli, who perfectly sums up what I’m saying:

“Love yourself. Enough to take the actions required for your happiness. Enough to cut yourself loose from the drama-filled past. Enough to set a high standard for relationships. Enough to feed your mind and body in a healthy manner. Enough to forgive yourself. Enough to move on.”

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