For the longest time, I believed that love was the only thing necessary to maintain a healthy relationship.
I thought that even if two people were incompatible, they’d always find a way to make their relationship work. But I quickly discovered from personal experience that this is not the case.
I was naive.
Whenever we see a cute guy/girl walking down the street, it’s common for us to dream about approaching them, entering a relationship & living happily ever after. However, we rarely consider the many factors necessary to build a successful relationship when falling in love with someone for the first time.
Right? We think “I’ll be with them for the rest of my life… start a beautiful family… and nothing will ever come between us.” But within a few weeks, you quickly realize that relationships aren’t that simple.
Consequently, you refuse to be intimate with your partner, arguments become a daily occurrence, and you’re left wondering if you can continue loving them in the future.
But thankfully, it doesn’t have to be this way. Because I’ve discovered that when you encounter obstacles within your relationship, it’s pointless wishing things could be different.
So a better solution is using each obstacle as an opportunity to be empathetic to your partner and significantly strengthen your relationship.In the words of Ryan Holiday:
“The obstacle in the path becomes the path. Never forget, within every obstacle is an opportunity to improve our condition.”
Below are a collection of reasons as to why relationships often fall apart. Each one of these insights helped me to repair existing issues within my relationship and create a much happier future alongside my partner. I hope they do the same for you, too.
Lack Of Trust.
One of the biggest reasons for a breakup is often a lack of trust between two people. For example, you may catch your partner cheating, lying about their whereabouts, or anything else that could be considered unfaithful.
If you want to build trust with your partner, it’s vital to talk about your concerns and other subjects which cause tension between the both of you.
Because when you’re willing to be transparent with your thoughts, you’ll quickly discover that it becomes much easier for your partner to reciprocate.
I’ve found that having realistic expectations of your partner can massively reduce the chances of entering an argument. After all, it enables you to create boundaries of what you both consider to be reasonable behavior.
Quoting an article published in Psychology Today: “The first step is to understand that all good relationships are equal trades, where each partner’s needs are addressed, rather than one-sided, selfish demands.”
Since creating realistic expectations within my relationship, I’ve discovered that we argue less frequently & better understand how to support each other’s emotional needs.
So instead of hoping for your partner to act in a certain way, discuss what you both want from the relationship to bring each other a sense of fulfillment.
In an ideal world, everyone would know how to communicate with their partner in a meaningful way. But unfortunately, that is rarely the case due to a lack of empathy for how others prefer to receive affection.
For example, if your partner enjoys spending quality time with you, consider going on day trips, walks in the park, or other activities that they’d genuinely appreciate.
Alternatively, if your partner prefers receiving messages of affirmation, you could remind them how lucky you feel to have them by your side.
Although these steps may seem like small changes to your daily life, the impact they’ll have on your relationship will be profound.
Cheating On Your Partner.
According to a study published by the BBC, infidelity within a relationship is becoming increasingly more common. Quoting the article: “75% of men and 68% of women admitted to cheating in some way, at some point, in a relationship.”
We all hope to find a faithful partner, have a healthy relationship, and spend the rest of our days living happily ever after. So whenever cheating occurs within a relationship, it can understandably hurt our emotions.
But instead of getting angry at yourself for loving someone who committed infidelity, it’s better to understand the past to prevent it from happening in the future. Because even if you can’t control the actions of others, you’ll always have the power to choose your response.
When you’re at different stages of your lives, it’s much harder to remain aligned with your goals as you have differing motivations for being in a relationship.
For example, you may want a travel companion while they’d prefer to settle down & start a family. So whenever you get a chance, take a moment to sit down with your partner to ensure that you’re both on the same page.
Instead of hoping that my relationship won’t fall apart, I’m currently transparent with my partner about any problems, so we can work together to find a solution. In the words of Viktor Frankl:
“When we are no longer able to change a situation — we are challenged to change ourselves.”
Remember: If you want to prevent your relationship from falling apart, all you need to do is learn how to put the broken pieces back together.