3 Ways To Improve A Conversation If You’re An Introvert

Matt Lillywhite

Photo: Anna Earl/Unsplash


Creating strong relationships is extremely difficult.

At least, that’s what a lot of introverts think right now. We tell ourselves that we want to make loads of new friends, find someone to love and spend the rest of our days living an incredibly happy life.

But whenever we fall short of expectations, we can’t help but think we’re not good enough, and that we’ll never be able to connect with people on a meaningful level.

I used to find it challenging to have a conversation with anyone. For example, I’d struggle to maintain eye contact, respond to a question, and many other things that made my social life a disaster.

But over the past few months, I’ve discovered that the best way to improve your relationships is by showing genuine interest in the other person when you’re having a conversation. As Dale Carnegie once said:

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

Quite rightly, you want to improve every single one of your relationships. You want to know how to listen during a conversation and connect with anyone you meet on a meaningful level.

So below are a collection of practical ways to enhance the quality of your conversations. Each one of these insights helped me to improve my social life, and strengthen every single one of my existing relationships. I’m sure they will do the same for you, too.

1. Ask Open-Ended Questions

I’ve found that it’s incredibly difficult to strengthen the quality of your relationships when you ask questions with a short response. So a better solution is asking questions that allow the other person to share detailed stories about the things they care about. Perhaps this is what Tony Robbinsmeant when he said:

“Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.”

For example, you could begin by asking questions about their biggest fears, memorable moments as a child, or anything else that would allow the conversation to flow into a variety of exciting topics.

So if you want to improve your conversations as an introvert, asking open-ended questions is a great place to start. Because when you make a genuine effort to show interest in what the other person has to say, they will likely do the same for you.

2. Don’t Make The Conversation About Yourself

One of the greatest truths of life is that we prefer talking about ourselvesmore than other people. So if you want to improve the quality of your conversations, focusing on their life will certainly make it a lot more enjoyable for them.

For example, I used to find it difficult to make new friends, as I had a bad habit of continually talking about myself during a conversation. Consequently, many people lost interest when they realized they wouldn’t get a chance to voice their opinion or talk about their own life.

But when I started talking about the other person more frequently, it suddenly became much easier to make new friends, and my social life exponentially improved.

If you want to strengthen the quality of your relationships, take a moment to practice emotional intelligence, and listen intently to whatever they wish to say during a conversation. As Theodore Roosevelt once said:

“No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.”

3. Improve Your Body Language

Research shows that displaying confident body language is a great way to improve your relationships. Because if you look interested in what the other person has to say during a conversation, they’ll know that you’re emotionally invested in the relationship.

If you’re anything my former-self, it may take a bit of practice to improve your body language. But when you begin to implement simple techniques such as maintaining eye contact during a conversation, the effect it’ll have on your relationships will be profound. In the words of Maya Angelou:

“People may not remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel.”

So during every conversation, ask yourself: “What actions can I take right now to show genuine interest in what the other person is saying?”

That’s all you need to do.

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