4 Reasons Why Your Tinder Match Didn’t Reply

Matt Lillywhite

Photo by Meghan Schiereck on Unsplash


For the longest time, I had no idea why my Tinder matches weren’t replying to my messages.

As I sat in my bedroom, wondering why this was happening, my mind was continually overthinking every detail that could make them not want to respond.

It’s a common problem which many of us face, and so we spend a lot of time questioning if we’re good enough for that cute stranger who also happened to swipe right.

But I knew that my actions had to change if I wanted to start having meaningful conversations with my matches.

So I began reading countless articles on improving conversation and understanding psychology to make my profile a lot more attractive to anyone who saw it.

Below are a collection of reasons as to why someone may not be responding to you on Tinder. Although the truth can be hard to accept, it’s better than never knowing why your matches didn’t respond.

Each of these insights helped me to improve my profile, increase my response rate, and to understand the psychology behind why my matches weren’t replying. I hope they do the same for you, too.

Your Opening Message Wasn’t Good Enough.

With most people on Tinder getting dozens of messages per day, it’s pretty evident that something simple such as “hey” isn’t going to get a quick response.

Since I began learning Psychology, I’ve discovered that asking a question about something specific in their bio is more likely to catch the attention of someone you match with. For example, music, vacations, hobbies, etc.

Research shows that people love to talk about themselves because it makes them feel great. So instead of giving them a cliche compliment, a better strategy would be to create a discussion surrounding the interests of your match.

After all, you want them to associate your conversations with positive feelings mentally, so they’re always happy to respond to your messages.

Your Bio Wasn’t Great.

It’s no secret that personality is a contributing factor towards finding someone attractive. After all, we have a natural tendency to enter relationships with people who have common interests.

In a study published by Psychology Today, having a section about yourself can significantly improve your chances of getting a match (and subsequently a response). Quoting the article:

“Tinder profiles in their study without bios achieved an average of 16 matches from women. This increased to 69 when a bio was present.”

It’s important to remember that someone will feel much more at ease to create a conversation when they know a little bit about your personality. So try including a great bio in your profile, and see what happens.

You Need To Improve Your Photos.

Whenever someone is swiping through Tinder, your name & photos are often the first things they see. So understandably, making a great impression is vital.

It’s easy to forget that people are only looking at you for a few seconds, before choosing whether to swipe left or right based on what’s in front of them.

A great way to start improving your Tinder profile is by uploading some photos which clearly show your face, personality, and anything else you’d want to convey in an image to a potential match. In the words of Will Rogers: “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.”

They Only Use Tinder For Validation.

Although you may be using Tinder specifically for hookups or to find a potential partner, some people might just be using it as a way of obtaining validation from others.

When we receive a notification saying that a stranger considers us to be attractive, it can improve self-esteem by providing positive feedback about our appearance.

According to an article published on the BBC: “Most people are on at least two dating apps, and flicking through them has become a quick, easy mood-booster for when people are feeling low and unattractive.” The article continues to say:

“The ‘ding’ when you match with someone you’ve swiped right to feels good. You impressed someone out there (even if they only looked at you for a millisecond). It’s a validation for your ego.”

My response rate has massively increased because I improved my photos, added a great bio, and personalized each message to be something that my match would find meaningful.

That’s all you need to do. Begin implementing these lessons, and I promise that your dating life will never be the same.

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