How To Become 10x More Attractive

Matt Lillywhite

Photo by Pablo Merchán Montes on Unsplash

Each morning you wake up, get dressed, and go about your daily routine. But something is missing from your life.

You’re not happy. At least, you’re not as happy as you could be.

You want to feel loved, cared for, and respected by those around you.

That’s how you want to live.

I don’t want to get too philosophical on you, but Epictetus once said: “the more we value things outside of our control, the less control we have.”

He’s right: focus on what you can control. Concentrate on your actions, words, and the way you interact with others. Because once you choose to focus only on the circumstances within your power, your life will get a lot happier.

For years, I ignored this advice. Like many of you reading, I initially thought it was philosophical nonsense muttered only by those who sought to make themselves sound intelligent.

See, I used to suffer from social anxiety. While all of my friends were enjoying themselves, I was sitting on my laptop at home watching Netflix. If I happened to get dragged along to a party on the odd occasion, I was sitting in the corner playing games on my phone.

I was that guy.

But while reading an article written by Ryan Holiday one evening, I realized that “all of this philosophical nonsense” had practical applications to my life.

Within a few weeks, I stopped caring what other people thought of me.

Instead of being afraid of speaking to others, I deployed a profound level of confidence, knowing that I could not control the opinions of others so I might as well live my best life.

The law of attraction states that positive thoughts often result in positive experiences. So below are some lessons I learned over the years, which have helped me to create a future of unlimited possibility.

Hopefully, they do the same for you.

Speak About The Positive Events In Your Daily Life.

One of the best decisions I ever made was to replicate the schedule of Benjamin Franklin for 30 days.

Why? Because each morning, he would wake up and ask, “what good shall I do this day?”

This inspired a change in my life which allows me to be conscious of positive events throughout the day, and increase my levels of gratitude for what I can accomplish.

When you focus on positive events immediately after waking up, those thoughts manifest throughout the day. Because when you choose optimism instead of negativity, the way you view the world changes.

Do The Unexpected.

We’re all used to getting flowers on our birthday’s and valentines. But as the years go by, we often forget every gift received over each holiday. It all becomes a blur and fades into one fuzzy memory.

However, when you surprise somebody on a random day of the year, it becomes a lot easier for them to remember your kindness.

  • Send your partner flowers in the middle of October.
  • Take your parents out for a meal during a random evening of the year.
  • Bring your brothers & sisters on a day trip somewhere just for the sole purpose of spending time together.

Having gratitude for your current life is undoubtedly one of the keys to happiness. Oprah Winfrey said it best:

Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”

Call People By Their First Name.

I admittedly stole this tactic from the book How To Win Friends & Influence People. However, it is undoubtedly one of the best strategies for gaining respect and strengthening your relationships.

Whenever I meet someone, I always make an effort to remember their name so they feel valued throughout the conversation. Dale Carnegie said it best:

“A person’s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

This is a great truth of life.

When you consciously call people by their first name during conversations, you will begin to notice them taking a higher level of interest in what you are saying.

Try it for a day, and watch what happens.

Be Empathetic.

If you want others to understand your point of view, you first need to be empathetic towards their situation.

When you choose to deploy this essential life skill, people will start respecting you for your ability to heal wounds and create solutions for any problem.

Use Positive Body Language.

During any conversation, I always ensure that my body language emphasizes my interest in the other person. Why? Because I want them to know that I’m emotionally invested in every word they say.

Look others in the eye, use hand gestures, and smile.

More often than not, people take notice. They love the fact that others are taking the time to listen to what they’re saying.

You’ll be amazed at how listening to every word of a conversation will impact your relationships.

‘The reason we have two ears and only one mouth is so we can listen more and talk less.” — Zeno

I’m going to leave you with a quote from Marcus Aurelius, who so eloquently speaks about implementing positive habits to create a better life:

“Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.”

You can be loved, respected, and live an extremely happy life. But the decision to do so starts with you.

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