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Have you ever wondered why someone is ghosting you?
If you’re anything like my past-self, your response will be something along the lines of “all the time.”
It’s a common problem that many people face. After all, We spend our days choosing who we talk to, and purposely taking ages to reply conversations that seem dull. But when someone does the same with us, we can’t seem to figure out why it’s happening.
Over the past few years, I’ve discovered that it’s pointless worrying about things outside of your control, such as the actions of other people. Instead, a better solution is understanding why people act a certain way, so you can prevent ghosting from happening in the future.
So below are several things you can do whenever someone decides to stop texting you back. Each one of these insights helped me to stop getting frustrated by the actions of other people, and I’m sure they’ll do the same for you, too.
Try Not To Jump To Conclusions
It’s important to remember there’s a variety of reasons why someone may not reply to your text. For example, they might have a low battery, no cellphone signal, or anything else that might prevent them from responding to you.
When someone doesn’t text you back, I know it’s easy to jump to conclusions. I’ve done it. We all have. Because all too often, we assume they’re suddenly not into us, so we invested loads of time into building a relationship for nothing.
But instead of making assumptions, try to give them a reasonable amount of time to respond. I’ve found that 24 hours seems to be a great timeframe.Because let’s face it: everyone has at least a few minutes in the day to reply to anyone they care about.
For the longest time, I found it difficult to stop making assumptions about other people. After all, I assumed they’d do the same to me whenever I took ages to respond to their message.
But the truth is there was often a valid reason for my inability to reply quickly. So when I stopped criticizing myself for not texting someone back, it quickly became much easier to stop judging other people for doing the same.
It’s an excellent idea to stop creating false narratives in your head. So whenever someone doesn’t reply to your message, take a moment to accept that there’s probably a good reason why they’re unable to reply. The author, Ryan Holiday, said it best:
“There is no good or bad without us, there is only perception. There is the event itself and the story we tell ourselves about what it means.”
Consider How You Can Improve The Conversation
Most people think that they’re pretty exciting to have a conversation with. So when someone doesn’t seem interested in talking to you, it can easily feel like a massive blow to your ego.
Some people will think you’re the greatest person on earth, and will want to have long conversations until the early hours of the morning. Meanwhile, others might think you’re boring, and want to exit the conversation as quickly as possible.
One of the greatest truths of life is that you can’t please everyone. But in any given moment, you can always consider what can be done to improve the quality of a conversation. For example:
- Try not to talk about yourself too much. Instead, it’s better to take a genuine interest in the other person.
- Ask open-ended questions that enable them to talk about things they enjoy.
- Improve your body language during video calls so you look visuallyengaged in what the other person is saying.
Since I began implementing the above strategies, the quality of my conversations exponentially increased. Because when you become interested in other people, they’re much more likely to enjoy talking to you.
Remember That You’re Good Enough
Let’s take a moment to think about the worst-case scenario. How would you feel if someone was purposely ignoring you? I can imagine your answer is something like “not great.”
Right? It sucks to know people don’t like you. But instead of focusing on the things you can’t control (such as other people’s opinions), I’ve found that it’s much better to focus on everything you can.
Remember that you’re good enough. So try to avoid changing yourself, merely to win approval or validation from others. It’s pointless. Instead, a much better solution is to spend your time having conversations with like-minded people that genuinely like you for who you are.
Because when you accept everything you cannot change, and focus on what you can, I’ve discovered that your level of happiness will exponentially increase. The Greek Philosopher, Epictetus, said it best:
“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.”
So every day, ask yourself: “What actions can I take right now to stop worrying about circumstances outside of my control?”
That’s all you need to do.