Making friends with anyone is a lot easier than you think.
Every single one of us has an inner desire to be liked by our peers.
We want to make friends with anyone we meet, have unlimited confidence, and confide our secrets in those we call our friends.
Right? We tell ourselves that we’re funny, charming, and a variety of other positive qualities that inspire friendship. But for some reason, you can’t help but feel annoyed at the fact that some people dislike you.
As I grew up with social anxiety, I’ve found myself in the same position as you for the majority of my life. But I’ve discovered that it’s easy to make new friends when you begin implementing habits that other people find attractive. In the words of Abdul Kalam:
“You cannot change your future, but you can change your habits, and surely your habits will change your future.”
Below are several bad habits to avoid so you can become more likable. Each one of them helped me to become more confident while meeting new people, and strengthen every single one of my existing friendships. I’m sure they will do the same for you, too.
Hiding Your Emotions.
One of the reasons that we make friends is because we can establish relationships with people that we connect with on a meaningful level. So if you’re hiding your emotions (for whatever reason), it’s probable that others will have a difficult time relating to you.
For the longest time, I had a habit of hiding my emotions as I didn’t want others to think that I was attention-seeking. So I kept my negative thoughts inside my head & tried to deal with my problems alone.
More often than not, this terrible strategy increased my level of anxiety as I didn’t confide in anyone. As a result, it was difficult to create friendships with other people because I was unwilling to become vulnerable with my emotions & express how I genuinely felt.
Take a moment to think about how you can express your emotions whenever you’re surrounded by other people that you enjoy being alongside. Because when you smile more frequently and are sympathetic to others in their time of need, you’ll notice that other people are happy to reciprocate.
We all have moments in life when something doesn’t go to plan. But as the Greek philosopher, Epictetus, once said: “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”
I’ve learned that complaining about things you can’t control serves no purpose apart from feeling better about whatever adversity you may be facing. So a better strategy is to let go of external circumstances so you can focus on creating a life that makes you happy.
Find things to be grateful for, instead of wishing for things to be different. Because when you can cultivate gratitude in your daily life, you’ll notice that people will act more positively whenever they’re with you.
Always Showing Up Late.
If you’re anything like me, you hate it when people have a habit of showing up late to an event. For example, you might agree to meet them downtown for lunch at 1 pm. But when you arrive, they send a text saying that they’re just leaving their apartment & will be there in 45 mins.
Of course, there are circumstances when being late is understandable. But if it’s a regular occurrence, people may begin to dislike you due to an inability to stick to a schedule.
So if you’re the type of person that finds it challenging to meet up at the designated time, consider changing your habits, and the quality of your friendships will drastically improve.
Refusing To Admit Your Mistakes.
We all know that honesty is a vital characteristic whenever we’re finding new friends. But for some reason, we tend not to hold ourselves to the same standards as those we set for other people. Marcus Aurelius said it best:
“Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?”
Being honest enables other people to view you as trustworthy & reliable.After all, you want to have traits that gain the respect of other people.
But refusing to admit your mistakes will force people away as you’re unable to hold yourself accountable, or remain honest in any given situation.
So although telling the truth may cause some occasional arguments, people will always respect you due to an unwavering ability to remain honest.
Having A Pessimistic Attitude.
Research shows that having a negative outlook on life can severely degrade the quality of your friendships. Quoting an article published in Forbes: “Pessimistic outlooks and gloomy attitude can decrease our motivation and change the way we feel.”
So it’s important to make friends with people who inspire you to become the best person that you can be. In the words of Rachel Wolchin:
“Surround yourself with people that reflect who you want to be and how you want to feel, energies are contagious.”
Remember: If you want to become friends with anyone, all you need to do is develop positive characteristics that make people want to be in your life.