Most people are terrible at realizing when it’s time to move on.
For several months, I was in a relationship with someone I hoped to be with for the rest of my life.
We had late-night conversations until the early hours of the morning, incredible memories exploring nature, and talked about growing old and living happily ever after.
But during the middle of a conversation at 11 pm, her responses suddenly became extremely short, and she no longer expressed any emotion within her replies.
What was once a beautiful spark ended up fading away, and I was left heartbroken, unsure why she suddenly lost interested.
So I began studying psychology to understand why this happened and how to prevent it from happening again. In the words of Epictetus:
“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”
I’ve realized that although I can’t change the past, I can certainly learn from it to create a better future.
So below are a collection of signs that someone isn’t interested in you anymore. Each one of these insights helped me to recognize when someone is distant, so I can stop becoming attached to the past. I hope they do the same for you, too.
They Don’t Text Back Quickly.
Most people have their phones in their pocket throughout the day. So if they’re not texting back as frequently as normal, it’s probable that they’re ignoring you.
Whenever you notice that someone is taking longer than usual to reply, it could be a potential sign of them losing interest.
This is something that I found to be frustrating, but it can also be a sign that the topic of conversation needs to change.
Research shows that we love talking about ourselves. So ask them about their life, interests, and anything else which could be different from previous conversations. Ryan Holiday said it best: “Failure shows us the way — by showing us what isn’t the way.”
You Always Have To Message Them First.
I can bet that you feel annoyed when you’re the one who’s always having to initiate the conversation. After all, you’re the only person making an effort to sustain the relationship.
If that’s the case, it could be a sign that they’re no longer interested, and are replying only to seem polite.
Alternatively, they could be accustomed to you beginning the conversations, and don’t see a reason for it to change.
Try taking some time off from sending the first message for a few days, and if they don’t try to start a conversation to maintain the relationship, it could be a good idea to move onto someone who will make an effort.
They Don’t Want To Make Time For You.
We’ve all spoken to people who are “too busy” to make time in their schedules to meet up or even spend 10 minutes in the evening to have a somewhat decent conversation.
But if this happens reguarly, they could just be trying to reject you politely.
As a general rule of thumb: if someone won’t make time for you, it’s pointless wasting yours on them.
They Stop Treating You With Respect.
When someone is genuinely into you, they’re going to treat you with the respect you deserve and do whatever they can to ensure you’re happy.
So if they stop treating you like a priority, it’s probably best to reciprocate.
I’ve discovered that it’s pointless chasing after people who don’t want to be a meaningful part of your life. Because if that’s the way they feel, they’re not someone worth having in your life anyway.
Stop texting them, move on, and realize that it’s only a matter of time before you meet someone who treats you with the right amount of respect.
They Only Message When They’re Bored.
If someone is talking to you throughout the day, it’s a great sign that they’re maintaining a genuine interest in you. But if the conversation is restricted to times when they’re bored or horny, they’re probably using you to fill a void.
So it’s essential to recognize the times they message you, and the type of conversation they tend to have. Because if they’re just after a sexual conversation to satisfy their urges, or to cure their boredom, it’s a good idea to move on.
I’m going to leave you with another quote from Epictetus, Who spoke so beautifully on the importance of maintaining relationships with people who bring you a sense of happiness: “The key is to keep company with those who uplift you.”
Nothing else matters.