How often have you wondered why you’re not in a relationship?
For the longest time, I always believed that finding a long-term relationship was impossible.
Right? We all think that we’re going to be single for a long time, without even considering the reasons for not being in a relationship.
Consequently, you begin questioning your self-worth, wondering if you’re not good enough, and quickly become jealous of anyone else currently in a relationship.
Throughout my life, I’ve found myself in the same position as you many times. But instead of blaming everyone else for my inability to enter a relationship, I began focusing on myself to become the type of person that my ideal partner would love.
So below are several reasons why you’re still single, accompanied by a solution to begin living the life you deserve. Each one of these insights helped me to create incredible relationships, and I hope they do the same for you, too.
You Keep Choosing The Wrong Partners.
When entering a relationship, most people think that they’re falling in love with the person whom they want to be with for the rest of their life. But unfortunately, this is very rarely the case.
The truth is that it can be easy to become attracted to someone that may not necessarily be a great long-term partner. For example, I got into a relationship with a girl who had a history of cheating in her relationships.
It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happened three weeks later.
If your relationships are always ending in catastrophe & heartbreak, I’ve found that making a list of qualities that your ideal partner would possess is a great strategy. After all, it gives you a sense of clarity on what you want from a future relationship.
Your Standards Are Too High.
I used to have an issue with having high standards as I was incredibly focused on achieving perfection.
If you’re currently struggling to find a partner, consider taking a moment to look at yourself before saying that nobody can meet your standards. In the words of the Roman emperor, Marcus Aurelius:
“Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?”
I realized that I was trying to find the most honest girl on the planet while acknowledging that I have moments of dishonesty. Similarly, I hoped to find someone with a keen interest in reading loads of books. Yet, I tended to procrastinate on my reading & watch Netflix all day.
I was a hypocrite. But since that day, I’ve learned that setting unachievable standards is merely a guaranteed formula for staying single. After all, it’s our imperfections that define our personality and shape us into the person we are today.
You Don’t Want To Be In A Relationship.
I’m empathetic to the fact that you may not be ready to be in a relationship as we all have different preferences as to how we want our lives to look.
For example, I thought that I wasn’t ready to enter a relationship because I was unhappy with the way I looked, dressed, and anything else to do with my appearance.
So I began reading self-improvement books, experimenting with different outfits, and trying to mold myself into the person I wanted to be. Although it took a long time to build my confidence, the difference it made in my social skills was profound.
It’s important to remember that you don’t have to be in a relationship because of peer pressure, or any other external factors. So take your time, prioritize what matters to you, and the rest will figure itself out.
You’re Not Taking Any Action.
If you’re not taking meaningful steps to create a relationship, you’ll probably be stuck in the same place, and will never find a partner. As Bill Phillips once said: “The difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do.”
If you want to be in a relationship, ensure that you’re talking to new people, improving your social skills, and doing anything else necessary for finding a partner.
So every day, ask yourself: “What can I do today to get one step closer to being in an incredible relationship?”
Do that, and you won’t be single for much longer.