*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events as told to me by a friend who experienced them firsthand; used with permission.
I think it’s an unpopular opinion to have, but I don’t like dogs. I think they are too much work for their worth as a pet companion, they smell, they shed, they drool, you have to facilitate their bathroom usage… it’s not for me.
When I fill out dating profiles I often put right in there that I don’t like dogs so I don’t waste time getting to know someone who will love their dog more than me. I don’t care what a man has to offer, if he already has a dog, I scroll right past his profile and move on to the next. I am very serious about my dislike of dogs.
My friend Thea however, loves her dog more than most things in the world, including other people, like her brother.
Thea’s dog was some kind of small, unidentifiable mutt that she took care of like it was a baby. By which I mean, when she went for walks, sometimes she would take the dog in a stroller instead of making it brave the elements like the hot pavement in summer or the snowy sidewalks. It was ridiculous.
At one point, Thea’s brother Dave moved into her house for a while, and the little dog, JoJo, took quite a liking to him. At first this just bothered Thea, but as time went on and JoJo spent more time following Dave around the house than her, she became enraged.
“You’re trying to steal my dog, aren’t you?” Dave told me once she accused him. “You’re going to try to take JoJo when you move out, but that’s not going to happen.”
Dave tried to ensure Thea that he definitely would not be taking JoJo when he left, but she didn’t believe him and didn’t trust him.
The last straw was when JoJo started sneaking out of Thea’s room at night and going to sleep in Dave’s bed instead.
Thea would go looking for JoJo in the morning to take her on her walk, and would find JoJo trotting happily out of Dave’s room, which sent her over the edge.
That week, Thea kicked Dave out of her house, claiming that she had a friend who wanted to move in and Thea really needed the rent money that her brother wasn’t paying. However, everyone knew it was really about the dog.
I certainly wouldn’t do that to my sibling over a pet, would you?