*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events as told to me by a friend who experienced them firsthand; used with permission.
I have this friend named Danny who I feel so bad for right now. I have known Danny since high school, we were friends practically from the moment we met, and I had the distinction of being the only girl in our group of friends who wasn’t at all attracted to Danny - so we actually got to be real, good friends.
Over the years Danny became like a brother to me. I was always there for him when he went through his constant breakups, and they were constant because Danny was just the kind of guy who couldn’t be alone. He always had to be partnered, have a girlfriend. It was something I never understood, but accepted about him.
However, I had a hard time accepting some of the women he dated, and I especially had a hard time accepting Michelle, the woman he decided to marry.
Michelle is, hands down, the coldest, meanest, rudest woman I have ever met. I never saw what Danny saw in her - other than her stunning beauty, of course, but he should have been smart enough to know that beauty only counts for so much.
The problem is, Michelle wasn’t all that likable to people, and Danny knew that and tried to do everything he could to negate it.
Michelle is the type of person, who, for example, once did this:
She was in line at the drive-thru for the pharmacy with Danny in the passenger seat and decided that she had waited too long to be noticed through the window by a pharmacist or pharmacy technician. Instead of continuing to wait or choosing to go inside like a normal person would do, Michelle decided that she was going to take her travel mug full of coffee and splash it all over the window - before banging on it with her cup.
When someone finally came to the window they were of course annoyed and told Michelle that behavior was uncalled for, but Michelle just started screaming at them for making her wait.
Apparently, the next day Danny went into the pharmacy and personally apologized on his wife’s behalf, and that wasn’t the only time he’d done that by far.
Another time they were in a restaurant with friends and when the bill came, Michelle decided that the couples would split everything item by item so they didn’t have to pay a dime more than their share. She called their server over to split the check and the server said something like, “Sure, but in the future please let us know ahead of time,” and Michelle erupted into a rage, berating the server for talking down to her and informing her that the customer was always right.
On the way out, Danny slipped the server an extra forty dollars for her trouble.
“How often do you find yourself apologizing for her?” I asked him once.
“A few times a week,” he told me.
I can’t fathom, still, why Danny continues to choose to stay with a woman who is such a nasty handful, but he swears he loves her and that she is a good mom, and as his friend what am I supposed to do but support him?
At least I don’t have to pretend to be her friend, too.