Woman chooses to keep therapist over boyfriend after meeting her in couples therapy

Mary Duncan

*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events I experienced firsthand; used with permission.*

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I have been through a fair number of therapists in my time, and unfortunately have had to change therapists for a number of reasons throughout the years that haven’t been so pleasant.

Once I fired a therapist because she was so much younger than me I didn’t feel like she had enough life experience to help me. Another I fired for being too disorganized and anxious herself. A third slowly made me realize she wanted me to let her go because she was annoyed that I hadn’t made progress in my life.

So, for a while I didn’t have a therapist at all, and it was hard because I really needed one.

The best I could do was have the occasional couples therapy session with my boyfriend and his therapist, Lexie, who I really liked and jived with.

I would often find myself dominating the session when I had the opportunity to talk to Lexie, and sometimes we would talk about my personal problems that had nothing to do with me and my boyfriend, Tom. We would talk about my family, my daughter, my dreams and plans for the future, all why Tom sat beside me silently listening to me talk with her about things I never talked about with him.

I liked Tom, but I didn’t see him being a long term boyfriend. This was a problem for me because I really wanted to be able to keep talking to Lexie if we broke up, but thought that would be very weird.

Then, Lexie offered me a few private sessions with her and I took them happily, and I unloaded onto her all the things I didn’t like about Tom and how I wasn’t very happy. Over the next few weeks, she convinced me that the right thing to do was to leave him. But again, I didn’t want to leave her.

Well, Lexie did something for me that was likely very unethical and wrong: she told Tom she could no longer accept his insurance (a lie) and so he willingly stopped seeing her.

That was years ago, and Lexie has been a wonderful therapist to me since.

Sometimes I wonder what happened to Tom after we broke up, and whether he got his own new therapist - but at least I got Lexie out of the deal.

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I write about relationships and parenting, life, society, people, and sometimes also beer.

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