Man breaks up with woman who collects human teeth in a jar

Mary Duncan

*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events as told to me by a friend who experienced them firsthand; used with permission.

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I have always had an aversion to teeth.

Some people are grossed out by feet, some people don’t like looking at things with holes in them, but me?

I am grossed out by people’s teeth.

I don’t even like dealing with my own teeth, as going to the dentist is one of my greatest fears and I avoid it at all costs.

Once, I was babysitting for my friend’s daughter when she presented me a piece of bagel that she’d been eating with a tooth sticking out of it.

I called my friend Meredith and she said:

“Oh! That’s her third lost tooth! Please put it in a baggie and leave it on the kitchen counter for me.”

I was extremely weirded out by the request, but this was before I had a child of my own so figured it was for the tooth fairy.

I had no idea at the time that after the tooth fairy came and went, Meredith saved all of her children’s teeth in a little glass jar that she kept on the mantle of her fireplace.

It didn’t occur to me to tell Meredith my opinion - that I thought it was totally gross and weird and she probably shouldn’t leave them in a place where everyone could see.

I just minded my own business and thought, to each their own.

However, it turns out I wasn’t the only one who thought it was weird that she kept her children’s teeth in a jar.

Meredith began dating a new guy, and the first time he went over to her house he noticed the jar full of teeth.

Being that the fireplace is sort of the centerpiece of the living room, it was kind of hard to miss sitting on the mantle.

“What is that? Why do you have these?” he asked her.

“They’re my children’s teeth. I’m keeping them,” she said.

She didn’t explain to the man why, that it was for sentimental reasons, her own little quirky thing, but she didn’t have to explain it to him because she never saw him again.

He tried ghosting her, but Meredith persistently texted him demanding to know why he ghosted her.

“I’m sorry, I can’t date anyone who collects teeth,” was all he said.

I’m not sure I could blame him.

What would you think?

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I write about relationships and parenting, life, society, people, and sometimes also beer.

Connecticut State
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