I didn’t know my daughter’s father well when I got pregnant with her, we sort of got to know each other as the pregnancy went along - and the more I got to know him the more I regretted letting him get me pregnant.
I found out that we were complete opposites in so many ways. I was a cat person, he loved dogs. I am a bleeding heart liberal, he’s a conservative Republican, I like to spend my money when I have extra in the bank, he is a total miser.
We fought about everything, and once I realized that we were never going to work together as a couple I tried to escalate the fights at times, hoping he would break up with me, but he didn’t, he just said increasingly horrible things to me.
We got into one rather serious fight when I was about four months pregnant and it was shortly before my first ultrasound where, if I was lucky, would be able to find out the gender of our baby.
It was during this fight that he said something along the lines of:
“I’m glad you’re getting that ultrasound, and I hope if it’s a girl it’s not too late to abort it because I have no use for any more women in my life.”
The saddest thing was, I believed he was serious.
I had started by that point to get the impression that he was a man who didn’t really like women very much, he didn’t have much respect for us as a gender, and it showed in all his words and actions to me.
So, I didn’t let him come to the ultrasound appointment with me.
I went with my mom and my best friend, and together we found out that I would be welcoming a daughter into the world - and at the time I thought her dad would have a marginal part in her life if he was lucky.
In the end, he changed his tune and we were all lucky.
He found a way to love his child even though she wasn’t the boy he had wanted.
I just wonder if he still regrets and thinks about the things he said to me like I still think about them sometimes.