I don’t know about you, but I’m still searching for the Human Handbook that I thought was to be mandatory reading in high school once I found some level of proficiency and comprehension.
We all know through direct experience that being human is no easy task with or without a handbook. The unique and similar life challenges we each face are a rollercoaster of ups and downs, successes and failures, especially when it comes to love.
Too often when coming of age, we fumble our way along whether through an awkward conversation with our parents attempting to teach us about the ‘birds and bees’ or through the often raw and nitty gritty shared through older siblings or friends.
All of this information is then reinforced or thrown out the window for most of us through a string of short and long-term trysts or romances. In turn, these pleasant and not so pleasant experiences teach us invaluable lessons about respect, trust, intimacy, integrity, honesty, fidelity and the most important characteristic of all… Communication.
My hope was that the Human Handbook would provide the requisite ‘tips and tools’ and notably a chapter or two devoted to essential communication in love relationships. For me, having had these communication skills may have kept me from repeating not so good patterns that have sabotaged amazing relationships along the way.
Here are 3 Communication Tips that will ensure your relationship lasts a lifetime:
1. Be Truthful and Authentic. This is easier said than done as we all expect our partners to show up authentically and always speaking their truth. This is definitely a learned behavior to be practiced by couples through monthly or quarterly “check-in conversations” to acknowledge what’s going great in the relationship and to address challenges before they become insurmountable.
2. Don’t Assume or Expect Mind Reading. Too often, we assume our partners who know us best should also be telepathic mind readers with the uncanny ability to know precisely when and what to say to acknowledge, praise, comfort, or take away our challenges and/or worries. Communication is greatly enhanced, and our connection reinforced when we ask for what we need from our partners.
3. Know Your Partner’s Love Language. When you’ve truly struck relationship gold and successfully found your soulmate or life partner, knowing their “love language” and them knowing yours will be the secret ingredient to a lifetime romance. The 5 Love Languages are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. By knowing your partner’s love language and them knowing yours will provide a roadmap on the words and actions you can each do for each other to magnify and magnetize your relationship. You can learn more about this by taking The Love Language Quiz that’s complimentary through Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages.[1]
By embracing and practicing these 3 Communication Tips, you’ll begin to see dramatic results in your most prized relationship. These tips also contribute to significant deposits into the joint Love Bank Account through our words and actions. The key is to always have more deposits (positive words and deeds) in the account, so it doesn’t become overdrawn, thereby reducing your affinity and love for each other.
Start today in making your relationship even better by adopting these communication tips to really live the relationship of your dreams.
[1] Dr. Gary Chapman. The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. 1992
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