Groundhog Day Again

Mark-John Clifford

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No, that's not a pun up in the title. I was just thinking that it's another year and time for Punxsutawney Phil let us know if we'll be shoveling more snow for six more weeks, or we can come out now and enjoy the warmer weather?

Well, he came out, saw his shadow, and we're going on six more weeks of winter. Maybe it isn't as bad for some of us in California, ut for the rest of the country, it's an oh crap moment for sure. I know I lived on the east coast for years.

That's not what I want to write about today, though. I'm more interested in the movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murry and the theme within repetition.

I was talking on my podcast today about repetition, ADHD, depression, and life. It all seemed to me to fit into things I deal with, and I'm sure others with ADHD deal with daily repetition.

Repetition is the survival and bane to living with ADHD, at least as far as I am concerned. I wouldn't say I like repetition, but if I'm, to be honest, it keeps me grounded.

Being grounded is, for me, the cornerstone of living with ADHD, although I find it monotonous most of the time and rather aggravating. I like to be more spontaneous within reason.

The within reason means I still want to work on the things I start if I'm not interrupted by ADHD thoughts, but I also can't let go of those thoughts since many of them are creative and fit into what I'm doing at a good time. Not a convenient time, ut a good time.

Where does depression fit into all of this? Easy, it fits smack dab in the entire process. From when I wake up till I go to sleep, having a groundhog day can be depressing. The same thing day after day, moment after moment, thought after thought all about the same topic. It doesn't matter; whatever, it just keeps running around my brain all day and night till nothing is accomplished. Ever have one of those days?

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Photo courtesy of NY Times: Groundhog Day The Movie

That's where I'm at today. Thinking about the movie Groundhog Day made me realize that I've done the same thing for days, the same thinking, and the same processes for days. It's time for an ADHD break.

I'll give you a perfect example. Today is the third day that I've had a bagel with butter. Yup! Just butter and nothing else. Don't get me wrong, we have cream cheese, jellies, and more that would go with it, but groundhog day states it has to be the same every day. I accomplished that and am not happy about it.

This kind of thing depresses me. I know it's nothing major to you, but the lack of creativity bothers me. The lack of energy to be creative bothers me. See, all I have to do is walk out the back door to the fridge in the garage and grab the cream cheese, but nope I don't do it. I opt out of cream cheese and creativity and just use butter every other day this past week. Why? Laziness and lack of imagination.

My ADHD stops me from being creative at this moment because it has other things for me to do. It does.

If I opt to go out to the garage when I'm preparing the bagel, I will miss out on the thought I am working on in my head that ADHD brought me just then. If I miss that, though, I may miss the most creative things I did that day, like writing this article.

I know it sounds nuts. It does to me as I write this, but that's how my mind thinks. Thinking like this is what leads me especially into depression.

I don't like writing about depression, especially as it affects me, but let's be honest, writing about it helps me deal with what I am going through as I write this article.

Yes! I am depressed as I write this thinking about what I could have done yesterday but didn't. I question myself over and over why didn't I write this yesterday? If I had, I might not have been so depressed thinking I wasn't creative yesterday.

Is it wrong not being creative for one day? It depends on how you live your life.

I thrive on creativity, whether it's writing, podcasting, or videoing. I haven't done much videoing, but it is coming soon. It still lurks in the background, though, of not being creative for a day.

I find creativity, ADHD, and life in general a cure to my depression. I know that life as a cure to depression is crazy, but my life and family life keep depression at bay most times. Then comes the creativity of my work to support it.

My way of dealing with depression isn't for the many or even the few. What works for me won't most likely work for you, but what I mentioned above works.

How it all comes together and works for me, I do not understand. I'm not an expert. I majored in psychology in college. I studied depression that I battled in school over and over, but right now, the way I handle depression baffles me.

Everything I'm doing goes against what many professionals tell you, but it's working for me, so I'm keeping it.

I find myself trying harder to change repetitive actions. I find creative ways to do that, which don't always work. Most times, I can say they fail, but that doesn't mean I don't try. In reality, I keep trying thinking that it will work if given enough tries.

It's all about your philosophy of life. Mine is to keep going, never stop until I see the light at the end of the tunnel. It works!

I worry about missing the light—may be traveling past the light to another dark and deep tunnel. My mantra through it all is to keep watching for the light. Tune into it and follow it, but don't read into it.

What's your most interesting groundhog day?

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Photo courtesy ABC 11

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Patti, my wife, and I write about life here in Fresno, California, and the Central Valley. We especially enjoy writing reviews about restaurants we've dined at, along with the food that is served. From time to time, we also write about and share recipes that we are fond of and hope you'll try them and let us know your thoughts. We are not traditional food critics. We don't have to worry about restaurants making unique dishes for us. We're just the average customer going in to dine, and then we write reviews.

Fresno, CA
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