I met many people who go through difficult times in their life. They really struggle to cope with their mental health, depression, and anxiety. I also met people who manage all the difficulties exquisitely, on the other hand. I was glad though amazed at the way they managed themselves. Some queries pop up in my mind about how do they manage all the things wonderfully? How do they feel so good? I thought, perhaps, they have nothing to fight in their life. Soon I disagree with my own thought because this might not be a reason because I believe that every person on the globe experiences certain challenges in life. However, the type and nature of these challenges may vary from one person's life to another. By observing, judging, experiencing, and critical thinking, I found some strategies to be a happy person. The main point of all strategies is self-love.
Some people are not habitual to taking care of them since from childhood. On the other hand, some are very concerned about their health, body, mind, and peace. Now the question is what to do if you are not a person who is a self-lover by birth? The simple and clear answer is ''learn and practice self-love''. I am going to share some exceptional strategies to practice through which you’ll enter the cycle of self-love automatically.
1. Don’t pay attention to other's opinions
Don’t pay attention to what other people expect from you and what they think about you. They will think based on their level of perception. You are not here on the earth to satisfy and please everyone. You can not please people. You can not make everyone happy. So this is a wastage of time and will only slow down you on your journey to be the best you. Even if you die for them, some people will have something bad to say. Therefore, you should be real, courteous, and good toward everyone only because it reflects your personality. But don’t be what they want. Just own yourself and be the way you are.
2. Allow yourself to accept your mistakes
If you are looking for perfection in the people, you are doing wrong. And if you want to be perfect, again you are wrong. Accept the fact that no one is perfect in this world. Every human makes some mistakes. You are also a human, thus you can not be perfect. Don’t keep crying about the mistakes that you had made intentionally or unintentionally. If you’ll keep regretting them, you will never find a way to be happy. But one thing you should remember, learn from mistakes so that you don’t repeat them. Instead of crying and regretting if you’ll learn from them, believe me, you will get a priceless lesson.
3. Know your worth
Know who you are. Know your worth. You should believe that you are not worthless. Knowing your worth is the most important and individual thing that really has nothing to do with anyone else. It’s your inner voice that allows you to measure your value, regardless of what other people might think of you. Knowing your worth will make you confident in yourself. Knowing the worth doesn't mean to consider others down but it's about to raise your head high. It's only about you.
4. Kick out toxic people
Are there some toxic people who are spreading toxicity in your life surrounding you? Remove them from your life without wasting even a single second. Toxic people have nothing good to do except to spread toxicity. Toxicity is contagious, thus it may affect you. If some toxic people who are spreading toxicity in your life surrounded you, kick them out of your life. Because your peace is your responsibility and people who are harmful to your peace should be removed from life immediately. Don’t regret it and not be afraid to do so. It is not at all wrong and rude to remove yourself from the circle of people who are draining you.
5. Trust yourself
Sometimes you depend on others to take a decision for you. Because you didn’t trust yourself or might be you’re not enough confident. You may so often doubt yourselves and your ability to do what’s right when most of the time you do know in your hearts what’s best. Remember that your feelings are valid. You’re not losing touch with reality. You know yourself better than anyone else, so be your best advocate.
6. Allow yourself to feel things fully
Allow yourself to feel things fully. Sink into pain, indulge in your joy, and don’t place limitations on your feelings. Feeling of fear, pain and joy are sentiments that will help you know yourself and sequentially understand that you are not your emotions. Instead of avoiding your feeling let it be clear to you. You'll raise yourself from the depth of that sentiment.
7. Be kind to yourself
The world is full of bitter words and critique — don’t add yours to the mix. Speak generously to yourself and don’t invite yourself to mean things. Honour yourself. You’ve developed so far and improved so much. Don’t skip to praise yourself. Respect yourself so that you be respected by others.
Even if you don’t feel particularly powerful, think about how far you’ve come, how you’ve survived. You’re here, right now, alive and powerful beyond your knowledge. And be patient with yourself. Self-love may not happen overnight. But with time, it will settle itself into your heart.
Yes, you may struggle, but you’ll look back on these moments and see how they were stepping stones on your journey to being the best you.
© Mahnoor Chaudhry, 2021.