I'm married but I don't wear my wedding ring

M. Brown

Photo byPhoto by Jeongim Kwon on Unsplash

**This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events that I have experienced firsthand; used with permission.

I’m a married woman but I don’t always wear my wedding ring. In fact, I usually go out without it on.

Am I cheating on my partner?

Am I a horrible wife?

Do I hate my ring?

I'll explain.

A lot of the time I don't wear my wedding ring because I’m doing housework and I don’t want to ruin it. Other times, I simply forget. I gave up wearing earrings and bracelets many years ago because my baby daughter would always try to pull them off. As a mom, I barely get my hair done every day much less accessorize.

I know that, for many people, a wedding ring still symbolizes something sacred. In many circles, it can definitely be considered in bad taste not to wear your wedding ring — especially out and about on the town. It’s also true that there are a great number of cheating spouses out there who intentionally take their wedding rings off in order to appear single and score a date.

I would not be one of those people. I know that my love and commitment to my spouse is a full-on deal whether I’m wearing my wedding ring or not. It’s really the same for the whole concept of marriage.

The signing of the papers and the sweet ceremonies are all very nice rituals that I have obviously partaken in myself, but neither the rituals or the jewelry symbolize the strength of my love for my partner in its entirety.

Most people don't think it’s that big of a deal if you’re married and you don’t wear your wedding ring all the time but there are some people out there who think that not wearing your wedding ring may be a reason to raise suspicion or to bring up concerns for your relationship.

My husband quite often forgets to wear his ring as well while he’s rushing off to work. He takes it off to go to bed and usually puts it on in the morning. Sometimes I’ll find his ring on the bathroom counter. Does it make me think he’s being unfaithful? No.

Although my husband sometimes jokes about me not wearing my wedding ring, I realize that some creeps out there may take the absence of my ring as a sign of an open-door policy but —quite frankly — that’s none of their business. I know the truth about the stability of my own relationship.

A stunning wedding ring, sacred vows, signed paperwork, or lavish ceremonies will not prevent infidelity within a marriage. The only thing that can prevent that is a secure relationship with communication and trust.

I love my wedding ring. I picked it out myself. I’m proud of it and the commitment it symbolizes. I really just keep forgetting to put it on! So, while it crossed my mind the other day that perhaps I was being a “bad wife” for forgetting to wear my ring quite consistently, I had to remind myself that my beautiful ring does not make my relationship work — I do.


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Host of The Pondering Stepmom Podcast. Writing about relationships, lifestyle, family & self-improvement.

California State

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