Our teenager started dating a girl whose mother said she talks to dead people

M. Brown

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**This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events that I have experienced firsthand; used with permission.

It's always dicey being the parent of a teenager who's dating. You never quite know what you're going to get. And I'm not just talking about the person your teen is dating. You never quite know what you're going to get with that teenager's parents.

In our case, it was the mom of the girl our teenager was dating. Once I made her acquaintance, she informed me that she was 'touched' and could hear the voices of dead people and sense when demons were nearby.

Now, I'm all about supporting everyone's spiritual beliefs and journeys but this one was a bit hard to swallow. However, as parents, my husband and I knew that we needed to be as supportive as possible and try not to feed too much energy into actively disliking the parents of the girl our son thought he was in love with. Who knew how long this was going to last, anyway.

Well, it lasted. First came the messages that traveled with our teen from the girlfriend's mom back to ours about how there was a demon entity living upstairs next to our bedrooms. Then came the talk of how we needed to sage our house because of all the evil spirits in there. Then came talk about how the daughter was having visions of our son cheating on her.

The vision of cheating thing was really the nail in the coffin for me. It's already so hard for young adults to navigate new relationships just with normal, everyday obstacles much less having to deal with dreams or visions of one another cheating on them.

My husband and I didn't comment much on these things but, behind closed doors, we were pretty bewildered and angry. At what point do you stop tolerating what you consider to be bizarre behavior from the parents of the person your teen is dating? At what point do you say something or try to intervene?

The short answer for us was to just try and wait it out and see if the relationship continued while not engaging too much with the parents, primarily the mother. We started out on polite, civil terms with the parents in the beginning but after all these things, communication faded away, and as the two teens approached 18, we essentially had to let them figure things out on their own.

The girl our son was dating in this scenario was and is a very nice person with a kind disposition. However, when my husband and I thought about having to deal with her mother in any long-term situation we literally cringed. How do you deal with someone who's trying to tell you your house is haunted and that negative energy surrounds the family you've worked hard for and loved to the best of your ability?

There was also another issue and it wasn't just the whole voices/demon thing. Apparently, the daughter said she was also 'touched' or 'gifted' in the same way as far as being able to see and communicate with dead people. When our son told us this news, we felt our hearts sink.

Unfortunately, there are not too many things parents can do when their teen falls in love. Trying to forbid a teen to see the one they love usually doesn't work out too well and when they're technically old enough to make their own decisions, much of the time, you've got to just stand back and let them make their choices and mistakes. It's incredibly hard for a parent, especially if you think your teen is making the wrong decision.

In the end, our teen is 18 now and still dating this girl. Things seem okay for now. We don't talk to the mother. We rarely see the daughter. Ultimately, we're hoping for the best for all involved.

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Host of The Pondering Stepmom Podcast. Writing about relationships, lifestyle, family & self-improvement.

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