I stopped talking to another mom because she asked too many personal questions

M. Brown

Tirachard Kumtanom via Pexels

**This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events that I have experienced firsthand; used with permission.

Motherhood can be a lonely profession. You have many jobs within a job to do and, quite often, it can feel like you're on an island alone.

I like making mom friends, however, they have to be people I really want to talk to. I'm not into the forced small talk that many of us often feel we need to participate in when we go places and meet new people.

The way it goes is if I organically hit it off with another mom without the awkward, fake small talk, I'm totally down for becoming better friends.

My child does a sport and, obviously, there are other parents at the venue where she practices. One mom, in particular, seemed to really want to make friends with me at one point. She would come over to me and try to make conversation when I was sitting on my laptop, working. This definitely irked me because this was often my time to get work done while my child was practicing her sport.

Not only would this mom engage in the usual pleasantries but she would ask me a multitude of questions. So many questions. What did I do for a living? Do I like doing that? How many hours a week do I do that? Do I wish I worked more or less? How long do I expect my child to be in this sport? What grade is my child in? Does she like her school? Do I ever think about changing her school?

By the time I could think of an answer to just one of her questions, another one would come immediately after it. The endless questions that accompanied every conversation with this woman caused me to want to avoid her at any cost.

There are conversational questions and then there's a barrage of questions where it literally feels like an inquisition.

It's almost as if this mom read a book on how to have a conversation with someone but she took it in a whole other direction. As a more introverted person, it was difficult for me to entertain all these questions at once. They felt intrusive, rude even. There were many things she asked me that I would never dream of asking someone because they're simply too personal for a person I don't know very well.

So, I started ignoring this particular mom. I would still smile and say hello when I saw her, but, over time, I perfected the art of not making eye contact because, if I did, she would zero right in on me.

I watched her approach other moms and try to engage them in the same awkward conversations. The thing is, once she got you hooked into a conversation with her, it could be at least 20-30 min long and I was not willing to spend my time talking to someone who I didn't jive with. Not at all.

I ended up making some other mom friends at my child's practice, and they were moms I could relate to, who made casual conversation with me without monopolizing my time. They could sense when I needed my space and they didn't need to fill that space up with forced conversation or a million questions. It was easy and I didn't feel the need to avoid them.

I understand that the mom I avoided was probably very lonely and desperate to talk to other people. It just wasn't a relationship that I wanted in a place I spend 4 days a week waiting for my child to finish practice. A lot of the time I just want to relax, work on my computer, or write about moms I don't want to talk to.

In all seriousness, I was never rude or mean but I did figure out a way to extract myself from another mom who simply talked way too much and asked way too many personal questions for me to get along with. And I'm glad that I did.

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Host of The Pondering Stepmom Podcast. Writing about relationships, lifestyle, family & self-improvement.

California State

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