My husband's high-school girlfriend wouldn't stop calling him, so I finally had to say something

M. Brown
Photo by Jonas Leupe on Unsplash

**This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events that I have experienced firsthand; used with permission.

I'm not a jealous woman, generally. However, when my husband's old girlfriend from high school started calling him out of the blue, I definitely had a raised eyebrow over it.

She started calling him randomly, at all hours, with some sort of life crisis that she apparently needed him to help her process through conversation.

The backstory on this was that my husband had briefly dated this woman when they were teenagers and he was very close to this woman's mother.

However, he wasn't close to this woman's mother because he had dated her daughter. During a particularly challenging time during his teenage years, my husband had found refuge in the home of this mom, as did many of his friends. It was the safe place, the house with the cool and nurturing mom who would feed them and talk to them when their own home life wasn't so great.

So, there was a history there, and the daughter of the mom who had taken my husband in for a time was now calling him with a crisis of some sort. Being the kind and generous man my husband is, he immediately tried to help and listen on the phone. He felt a sense of obligation to the mother who had helped him when he was young — and helping out her daughter with some innocent life advice probably didn’t strike him as weird, at first.

From what my husband had previously told me, his old girlfriend had dated a slew of men on and off and was the type of woman who did not like to be alone. Apparently, she had just broken up with her current boyfriend. I don't think my husband realized that she was possibly on the hunt for more than just a friendly phone call.

This pattern of calling went on for a couple of weeks until one day, I had enough. I came home to find that she had called him again and I found him patiently listening to her on the phone. When I gave him a disgruntled face, he lifted his arms up in the air like he was at a loss for what to do. Then I gave him a raised eyebrow and he obviously realized he'd better get off the phone, which he did. I noticed that he tried to end the conversation a few times before his old friend on the other end would say goodbye. She was definitely persistent.

That day, my husband and I had a serious discussion. I explained to him that if an old boyfriend from high school suddenly started calling me all the time asking me for "advice" he may not like that very much. If the shoe were on the other foot, so to speak, things would probably be much different.

This point of view resonated with him. The next time this woman called him, he told her that he really didn't have the time to talk to her and that he wished her luck with her endeavors.

I know it was hard for him to understand that this old girlfriend from high school might be feeling him out for a possible romantic reunion even though he's married with kids, but, as a woman, I could totally sense it.

In any case, it was one of the first times I experienced any kind of jealousy in regard to my husband and maybe a little jealousy can be healthy at times. As I said, I'm normally not a jealous partner, but something about this woman's energy had my radar up.

In the end, my husband's old girlfriend did stop calling him. I also hear she found a new boyfriend. Go figure.

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Host of The Pondering Stepmom Podcast. Writing about relationships, lifestyle, family & self-improvement.

California State

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