Having my heart broken ended up being a good thing

M. Brown

Olya Kobruseva via Pexels

**This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events that I have experienced firsthand; used with permission.

When we think about our romantic relationships — especially our past ones, we generally tend to focus on the colossal mistakes we think we made in the realm of love.

We might brood over how we shouldn’t have fallen in love with who we ultimately fell in love with or how a particular person broke our heart beyond repair. We may also lament the loss of a great lover and companion.

The act of falling in love is not something you can force or plan. It’s something that either happens quite suddenly or evolves organically over time.

When things go wrong in a romantic relationship — the falling in love part isn’t really what’s to blame.

In fact, falling in love is sometimes the only way we can learn some of life’s most valuable lessons, such as honing the ability to let things go and beginning to comprehend why we make the choices we do.

Having your heart broken from time to time is actually an important tool to help guide you towards a future relationship that may be better suited to both your personality and your lifestyle.

You can never take back falling in love. You can, however, learn to get out of a relationship when you realize that it’s simply not working.

Staying in a relationship that’s not working properly after many attempts to make it work is a real mistake.

Beating that dead relationship horse is the only fault many of us carry around.

Not wanting to give up on a relationship out of fear, confusion, or just plain loneliness is totally understandable. Most of us have done it. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.

The biggest mistakes that I have made in love had to do with my own inability to let go of relationships that were toxic to my system. My choice to hang on to negative relationships that were slowly rotting from the inside was the true poison — not the love itself.

Love often gets a bad name and we do frequently relish giving it that bad name. We tend to blame love for all of our relationship woes when, in fact, love is just being love.

How we, as individuals decide to navigate our feelings when we do fall in love, is the real kicker.

My mistakes have been tolerating bad behavior, making excuses for people who don’t take accountability for their own actions, and for selling myself short as far as my own personal worth.

How we react to falling in love can be unpredictable. Every person has a different way of responding to it. Not everyone is able to make a relationship last for a long time. Not everyone finds a partner who accepts and cares for them in a healthy way. Not everyone has good experiences with love.

Sometimes our biggest mistakes in love are measured by our readiness and capability to both give it and receive it.

It’s ultimately up to us to determine how we choose to live our lives and who we decide to let into our worlds — as well as into our hearts.

Romantic relationships can be delicate — and they take considerable effort to maintain.

We all make mistakes. Making them when we fall in love is par for the course. Learning from those mistakes is vital to our growth as human beings.

Try not to be too harsh on love itself. Love is a gift — one we can learn many lessons from if only we have the courage to allow ourselves to fall into it and then potentially be severely damaged by it.

In the long run, it’s much better to risk the mistakes of love than to never learn anything at all.

Comments / 4

Published by

Host of The Pondering Stepmom Podcast. Writing about relationships, lifestyle, family & self-improvement.

California State

More from M. Brown

Comments / 0