Written By: London Winters
One or two things may have happened as you read the title; you either got the warm fuzzies, or you may have cringed? Either reaction isn't necessarily adverse, but I would like to reiterate that family is everything. What most people fail to realize is that God established family. So, anything and everything that can separate family, if allowed, it will. The destruction of this relationship is precisely what the enemy wants.
Fix yourself a nice hot cup of coffee or tea, and let's talk about the nuclear family. That is two parents (or a single parent) with children (or a child). The family is the base for future generations. Have you ever stopped to ponder that this nuclear family is your first family? Before you married and started having children of your own, your mother, father, and siblings grew up right beside you.
Your sibling (s) was your first friend (s), your first argument, the one you'd test out jokes on, your first opponent in anything, the ones you secrets with, are dinner with, etc. You grew with your parents and your siblings from birth to young adulthood. Then you start going separate ways, whether it's college, moving into your first apartment, getting married, enlisting in the military, moving to another state, or whatever the case may be. Your parent (s) were the ones that took care of the family by ensuring that you were clothed and fed. Your parents are the fabulous jewels to your world, and you won't realize it until they're gone (that's another topic for another day).
Knowing this about family, why are so many people against their family? People do not want to take out time for their first family. I have heard people call other people their family, saying that their "friends" are more like family. Maybe in your mind, they are. But guess what? They're not! You pick your "friends," but the family was ordained. Even when you marry, you still have your nuclear family.
Trust me, I understand that some family members can be a hand full, but they are still your family. I know some can be toxic, but they are still your family. Sometimes it is best to stay separated, but it's still your family. Please pay attention to how others respond to their families. Is it positive or negative? Whatever their case may be, make a conscious effort not to say anything negative about your family to others. Whatever is going on, speak life and positivity over your family. If you haven't spoken to a family member in a while, call them and say "hey I was thinking of you". It doesn't have to be a long conversation, especially if it will start an argument. If you can not do that, always pray for that family member because prayer changes things.
You haven't called your mother, father, or siblings in a while? Your excuse may be that they do not call you, so what is the point? Oh well, you be the bigger person, take the high road and call them. Love should always be love, no matter what. Our parents are miraculous gifts, and if it weren't for them, we wouldn't be here. Parents are a chosen gift for us. There is no perfect parent (s), just like no ideal child, sibling, cousin, uncle, aunt, grand-mother, grand-father etc.
We are humanly flawed, and families will have conflict sometimes, but there should be nothing that bad where you are unwilling to come back together, even if it's a hello and mutual respect when you are in one another's presence.
Are you still angry about something your parent did many years ago? Well, get over it. Just think about this for one moment. Let's say that your parents got pregnant with you at the age of 18 and your parent (s) did or said something to you when you were five years old or older. You are still angry about it to this very day! You are full-grown now, and you're still angry with your parent (s). Really?
Do you know that you are angry at the 18-year-old version of your parent (s)? Whatever age they were when they hurt you, it was the younger version of themselves. They are much older now; let go, forgive them and yourself for holding on to whatever happened. Free yourself and free them, talk and enjoy them and get to know them by asking questions that will mend your relationship.
Whatever age you were, whether you were very young, a teen, young adult, or an adult, talk about the incident or situation. Tell them respectfully what has been eating at you for years. Get an understanding maybe they do not know what they did because it wasn't intentional. This same rule is for any other family member (s). Even if it's your child, it is your child, for goodness sake, that you gave life to (newsflash-parents can be wrong too). If you would be honest with yourself, that child more than likely is just like you! Cherish your family, say what you need to say because it'll be too late once they are gone from this world. If you love someone, you let them know that you love them by your actions, deeds, and words.
Whatever you do, don't believe the hype; your family is everything!
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