Opinion: Men; Two Powerful Words Women Do Not Actually Mean

Libby Shively McAvoy
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Two phrases assure you will be in the doghouse if your Lady says them. If a woman says she is “fine,” she’s never fine. Yes, fine can mean okay, but consider body language and tone. Most of the time, she does not want to argue or put energy into it, but rest assured, she is not happy. The other phrase is “whatever.” Saying “whatever” might as well be the relationship kiss of death.

When a woman says “fine” in a conflict or argument, she doesn’t care what you have to say. She might be testing you to see if you apologize. Maybe she is just tired and doesn’t have much fight left. Or she is so angry she bites her tongue and goes “fine,” in which case you should feel fortunate.

In any case, it is usually not a good sign.

Men and women tend to interpret words differently. Women tend to be more emotional, whereas men tend to be more logical. We generally have an excellent balance and can teach each other a lot. But men need to know what she means when she says certain things. It needs deciphering, as far as I can tell.

My experience has been that when I say “fine” and head up to the bed, my man sits on the couch unbothered, watching TV. This frustrates me even more because I am not okay. It makes me feel as if he does not care. In reality, most of the time, he is oblivious to the message I was sending.

So, ladies, why don’t we say what we mean?

Saying “fine” when we are not is passive-aggressive. We protect our vulnerability. We may not want to show negative emotions or admit hurt. You may be afraid he will criticize or judge her. At the very least, when she says, “fine,” she is disappointed.

Men are not mind-readers; none of us are. Be transparent, Ladies, and tell your man what you need or what is frustrating you. Honesty is the best policy. And men, ask your woman what is bothering her. Don’t ignore that powerful red flag phrase.

Oh boy, “whatever” is ten times worse than “fine.” Saying “whatever” is another covert form of passive-aggressive behavior that completely dismisses what your partner may be thinking or feeling. It needs to be eliminated from our vocabulary for both men and women.

Saying “whatever” can cover up your true feelings and shut down the conversation.

Deciphering terminology In Relationships

It is best to consider the tone of voice, body language, and words spoken. If you fear your significant other is upset, it is best to approach a gentle conversation where you can both find a resolution. Girls are more complicated than guys in many ways, so she may need to open up and explain, and when she does, you may need to apologize when necessary and be fair. Having said that, she may have misunderstood your intentions and owe you an apology. At the end of the day, most of the time we upset our significant other it is not intentional.

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Libby is a Personal Development and Relationship coach specializing in emotional intelligence. By blending motivational speaking, leading yoga and wellness retreats, and writing, she has mastered the art of living her best life while helping others.

Cincinnati, OH

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