Woman's devastating discovery on Tinder

Libby-Jane Charleston

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'There was no way I could stay with a man I couldn’t trust.' (iStock)

Kelly* was in a "great relationship" with her husband Rob*, who spent several months of the year working interstate. She assumed their marriage was doing brilliantly and that he was faithful to her.

"We had a great relationship, we were very affectionate and loving with each other and we got on really well. We were like best friends. We were really close and didn’t have any secrets from each other – or so I thought," Kelly said.

"Rob was traveling a lot and he'd sometimes be away for three or four weeks, then he'd be home for two weeks, so I got used to him being here and then being away. When he was home, we really made the most of being together. We'd go out a lot and have some romantic evenings together. He very rarely told me he loved me but I knew that he did."

Kelly admits that it wasn't ideal being separated for so long due to Rob's work, but she also liked the freedom and independence his work allowed her.

"I was often on my own for three weeks and I made sure I had plenty of things to keep me busy. I went out with my girlfriends a lot which I really enjoyed. I quite liked having male attention when we were out; not that I ever fooled around or anything like that. I was totally faithful to Rob, but it was great to go out with my friends and feel like I’m young and single for a short time."

"The time Rob and I had together was great. We had a great love life and, when he was in town, we'd spend 80 percent of our time together, we were inseparable. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I believed we were perfect. Almost perfect."

Rob would sometimes go out with his own friends but, according to Kelly, he seemed content to be with her. The couple spent time planning their future together and were hoping to start a family in the next two years.

" There were several nights in the two weeks he was home that he would be ‘out with the boys’ but I just figured it was something he needed to do. He's told me he gets a bit lonely when he's traveling, so I never made a fuss when he said he wanted a night out with his buddies when he came home."

"One night, he said he wanted to take me somewhere special for dinner. It was our fifth wedding anniversary. I wore a dress I knew he liked and I thought I looked pretty good. I never had any confidence when I was young, it’s only now in my mid-30s that I feel happy about the way I look and, with a gorgeous husband doting on me, I felt very happy and fulfilled."

But Kelly's special night out ended in shock and heartache.

"He took me to an expensive restaurant. We'd had our first course and Rob had put his iPhone on the table. This was out of character; usually, he keeps his cell phone in his pocket. I remember thinking that maybe he was expecting a work call.

"He excused himself from the table and went to the restroom, leaving his iPhone on the table. That's when I noticed he was getting a few notifications and, curiosity got the better of me and I looked at his cell - to my horror, all the notifications were from Tinder."

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"I was absolutely mortified. Part of me died that night."

Although Kelly was tempted to confront him right away, she made a snap decision to play it cool for the time being.

"I acted like everything was okay but I was shaking. I felt like never speaking to him again. There was no possible reason why he was on Tinder other than the fact that he must be dating other women, or at least looking for someone to date. When he came back to the table, I kept my mouth shut. It was sheer hell. I couldn’t believe my darling husband was on Tinder," Kelly said.

"The rest of the evening went by in a blur and I tried to act as normally as I could. But I really felt like I was dying inside. The next day I drove him to the airport as though everything was fine and normal. We kissed goodbye as usual and I went home."

Kelly confided in her best friend and her sister, both of whom advised her to confront her husband. At this stage, she was prepared to listen to what he had to say.

" Two days later I phoned him and that’s when I let him know I’d seen his Tinder profile and that our marriage was over. Yes, I ended it just like that—there was no way I could stay with a man I couldn’t trust. He tried to explain himself, but I wasn’t going to let him off the hook.

" He said things like, "I was only doing it for fun when I was away. I wanted to see what kind of women I'd attract. I didn’t actually go out on dates.” But I knew that was absolute rubbish, as I had seen where he’d been making arrangements to see a woman in three week’s time and messages from other women too.

" I only saw him twice after that night; once when he wanted to try to patch things up, and the second time at my lawyer’s office. I don’t regret ending my marriage, although I am still really sad that he couldn’t stay faithful to me."

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I'm a journalist and author writing across a wide range of topics, including tech, travel, history, business/startups, relationships, beauty & fashion, British royal history, & local stories concerning Charleston, S.C (where I have a long family history on my father's side: hence my surname! ) Former HuffPost Assoc Ed, ABC TV, ATV Beijing correspondent and many more. Author of "Fatal Females." Mother of three boys: I will love them until the Statue of Liberty sits down.

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