Uncle’s invite specifies child-free wedding, but one twin won’t be 18 until after midnight

Lefty Graves

Not all twins are born on the same date; some are born minutes or hours apart, which can cause them to have different birthdates and, on occasion, different birth years. This can create a myriad of dilemmas in their lifetimes. Here is one such dilemma.

The groom's wedding invite states explicitly that the wedding is "child-free," and only those 18 and over are included in the invite. Therefore, anyone under 18 is not allowed at the wedding. The woman goes on to explain that the wedding date is the day of the older twin's birthday.

A recent story on Reddit details the groom's nieces have a dilemma due to his wedding stipulations. It seems that one twin was born a few minutes before midnight, while the other twin was born a few minutes after midnight. Is it right for an uncle to exclude one twin from his wedding?

After speaking with her brother, the groom, the mother states that there is another 17-year-old niece that isn't allowed to attend the wedding either. The groom states that it wouldn't be fair to the other 17-year-old niece if he allowed the younger twin to attend the wedding.

Clearly, this woman is in a dilemma as to whether or not to attend her brother's wedding. If she does go, is she supposed to leave one twin at home and bring the other twin? How about the fact that it's the twins' birthday? The brother/uncle may not have considered this when the wedding date was set.

Readers have over 2.1 K comments on the subject, with some on the brother/groom's side while others are siding with the mother and the twins who wish to attend the wedding as a family. Further comments go into the fact that it's also her birthday on her uncle's wedding day, and since it's her 18th birthday, she doesn't get much of a celebration due to his wedding plans.

Readers also go on to tell the mother to stay home and throw the twin a huge party, telling her to tell her brother "it's all or none." What is proper wedding etiquette when it comes to child-free wedding invites? Should the uncle make an exception? It's only a matter of a few hours, and the younger twin will be 18 and eligible to attend the wedding. To further complicate things, what if there is a time zone difference? In which case, the younger twin may actually be of age to attend the wedding if they hadn't traveled to the destination.

Clearly, this is an awkward situation for the OP. While she loves her brother, her twins are loved as well, and she doesn't want to leave out one of her daughters. What would you do? Would you give in to your brother and only take one twin to the wedding? Would you stay home and celebrate your twins' birthdays? Would you defy your brother, take both twins to the wedding, and just not say anything? What do you think is the right approach to this situation?

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Lefty has been writing online since 2000 on various topics, including youth mentoring, addiction, parenting, gardening, advocating for seniors, sustainability, farming & more. She resides on a farm with her family in Northeastern Washington state.

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