** This article is a work of nonfiction based on actual events as shared with me by a friend who experienced them first hand; used with permission.
My friend and her husband hadn’t been married more than a month when the trouble started. Her husband was addicted to food. It didn’t matter who’s plate the food was on; he would grab a fork and help himself.
To my friend and most people, this is considered rude. The man would even stop at people’s tables in restaurants and grab a fork and steal a french fry or a bite of something else off their plates as he walked to his seat in the restaurant. My friend was mortified when she saw her husband behave this way.
After a few days of losing her dinner in this fashion and tired of being embarrassed in restaurants, my friend hit upon the perfect solution. She knew that her husband hated hot sauce, and he hated vinegar. She happened to love both hot sauce and vinegar.
My friend made her favorite dinner, tacos, and salad, one afternoon. She knew that her husband would put ketchup on his tacos, but once he finished, instead of getting more and putting it on his plate, he would reach over and take her food off of her plate.
So she separated out part of the ground beef and added some spicy seasonings and hot sauce to the meat. She kept her portion small as usual and didn’t say anything to her husband. She also made a lovely salad and put the salads in individual bowls. She put some organic apple cider vinegar on her salad.
As the family sat down for dinner that evening, my friend made sure to keep the special salad and food separated from everyone else’s food. She placed each plate accordingly in front of each person. Her husband’s plate of food was very mild.
My friend put her salad and plate in front of her spot and sat down to dine. Her husband did his normal routine and gulped down his food, and reaching with his fork; he reached for her plate. “You don’t want to do that,” she cautioned. Her husband frowned and told her he could do what he wanted. “Okay,” she replied, “But I wouldn’t advise it; I used vinegar on my salad and hot sauce in my meat.”
Her husband didn’t even slow down; he took a giant fork full of salad and made a horrible face as he tasted the vinegar. Finally, she told him, “I told you I used vinegar in mine.” He was mad, but not as angry as he was going to be because this didn’t stop him from taking her taco next.
My friend quietly poured a glass of milk and handed it to her husband. He gulped down the milk and then started to yell at my friend. She was very calm and told him that if he continued stealing food off her plate, she would continue using vinegar and hot sauce (which she actually enjoyed). She also went on to tell him how rude it was for him to steal food from other people’s plates in restaurants.
My friend had had enough of her husband’s rude behavior a few years later. They divorced. She saw him a few months after the divorce, and he had nearly doubled in weight. What do you think? Was the man a glutton? Was my friend in the wrong for putting hot sauce and vinegar on her food? Keep in mind that she did warn him that she had done this, and he still tried to take her food.