Moms - It's time to love yourself as much as you love everyone else
The young mother awakens with the sunrise. She nurses the baby, prepares breakfast for the family, dresses the children, cleans the kitchen, and makes sure her husband has a clean shirt. She barely has time to shower before she starts her office job.
She works at a remote job, but she’s expected to be available at all hours. She feels guilty for ignoring her children. She’s resentful of her workload. She's tired all the time. She feels like she’s failing. This is a scenario for many women.
When she looks in the mirror, she sees an exhausted woman wearing an old t-shirt, with her hair in a messy bun. Once when putting away clothes in her bedroom closet she pauses to gaze longingly at the lovely dresses she used to wear. But that won't last long. The baby is screaming and needs a diaper change. And she has to send out an email to work. She's on a deadline.
She and her husband barely have time to even talk to each other. They are both trying to meet deadlines and parent children. She's grateful whenever he watches the baby.
This woman believes her husband is doing her a favor to help care for his own children. Statistics show that women take on the majority of household chores and childcare.
Women are exhausted, depressed, and overwhelmed. They are so busy taking care of everyone else, they neglect themselves. They move like robots throughout the day, rushing from one chore to another. Gone are their childhood dreams — their family and everyone else comes first. Yet there is a huge price they pay for doing this.
This woman once had creative things she loved to do. She loved gourmet cooking and art and learning guitar. Yet now she never makes time to do the things she loved. These were the things that gave her peace and helped get her through a tough day. And she has no time to pursue her interests anymore. And that's wrong.
Women need to make their needs a priority. If they are worn out and exhausted and can’t even take care of their own basic needs, how can they care for anyone else? What happens when they burn out from exhaustion and depression and can no longer take care of anyone or anything? What happens to the dreams they had for their life?
Women need to prioritize themselves
Women can't care for others if they are falling apart. Staying small to help others will only drain them.
Women need to take charge of their own lives and care about themselves as much as they care for everyone else. It would be a tragedy they never shared their talents in the world.
How to start prioritizing yourself
If you recognize yourself, here's how to prioritize yourself and have a more balanced life.
- Prioritize your self-care. You will feel a thousand times better after you schedule the time to shower, meditate, do yoga, wear clothing you love, and take care of your hair and nails.
- Schedule time every day to do something you love. Grab that sketch pad and start sketching again. Take a walk around the neighborhood. Pushing the baby in a stroller can help them nap. If you’re a musician, have your spouse take the baby outside for a walk in the stroller while you practice your guitar.
- Make a date night with your husband. Arrange for childcare with a trusted relative or friend and take a romantic drive somewhere or have a candlelit dinner out on the patio, complete with mood music playing in the background.
- Keep children’s bedtime consistent so you and your husband can watch a movie together alone.
- Take a mini-vacation with your family. You can drive down to the shore to an isolated spot with beautiful views. It will do so much to lift your spirits.
Use your gifts and inspire your own children
Remember you are a priority in your own life. You may be the next Taylor Swift but will never achieve success in your music if you don’t value your own talent.
By using your gifts, you are creating a strong role model for your own daughters and sons. By practicing your guitar, you give your own children the gift of music. Share your interests with your family. By pursuing things you love, you will feel more alive and teach your children new skills. Do the things you love to have a more fulfilling life.
Think about this. Do you want your children to remember a sleep-deprived, grouchy, self-sacrificing mother? Or do you want them to feel inspired by a mother who loves herself too, and is relaxed, creatively fulfilled, and filled with joy. It’s your choice. Making small changes in your life each day will make a huge difference in your quality of life.