Why did a love that was supposed to last forever die? Why do people file for divorce? These questions could haunt a person forever.
Their love story
There once was a young woman who loved her husband with her entire heart and soul. She wanted it to last forever.
Before they were wed they attended religious counseling. The counselors made them both list the most important things they required in a marriage partner. They had drastically different responses to financial security. He didn’t think it was important, while she did. On her list, respect was number one. Respect was not even on his list.
After analyzing their answers the counselors warned the young couple to reconsider entering into a marriage. Their different ways of handling money and qualities they valued in a spouse were drastically different. They ignored the advice and married anyway.
Everything was great in the beginning. They had beautiful children. But things were far from perfect. Their marriage reached a point where it wasn’t at all tolerable. Then she filed for divorce. He couldn’t understand it. He believed she’d be loyal until their dying breath. What made her decide to leave him?
There are many reasons why people file for divorce. Often it stems from immaturity with both partners. They enter marriage with expectations, and when their partner doesn’t fulfill them, they get frustrated and give up. Or sometimes their partner’s toxic behavior destroys everything they tried to build.
Here are 5 reasons people get divorced from someone they promised to love for a lifetime:
Their spouse never left their parents
Some people are so emotionally immature, they never left their parents. It never sank in that they were supposed to leave their parents and cleave to their spouse when they wed. The partner will put their parent’s needs above their spouses. This is toxic to a relationship.
They talk about their parent's house like they still live there. They often leave their spouse alone on evenings and weekends to spend time with their parents. When the partner objects, they overrule them.
They discuss their plans with their parent daily, instead of their spouse. Their parent knows too much about what’s going on in their marriage — even in the bedroom.
Some people will move their new spouse into their parent’s home and live as though they are brother and sister instead of husband and wife. This is especially disastrous if they are a dysfunctional household with mental illness and abuse.
They will consult with the parent instead of their love to make major decisions. This can be fatal to a marriage.
They’re addicted to alcohol
The spouse has an alcohol problem that began long before they met. They keep it hidden. Their partner is so blinded by love for them, they’ve missed all the signs.
Alcoholics are skilled at keeping a drinking problem secret. Many of them drink alone, hiding their empty bottles from their spouse. Some alcoholics are happy when drunk, but many get abusive. This creates a dysfunctional environment.
Alcoholics will put their habit first — before their spouse, children, and even their own self-care.
They disrespect their partner
They don’t speak loving words to the person they are supposed to love the most. Their words are like poisonous darts. They often curse at their partner and call them mean names. When the partner makes suggestions to improve their relationship or life situation, they’ll dismiss them. They act as if their partner’s input doesn’t matter.
They berate their partner regularly and treat them like they are way beneath them. They may even mock their partner in front of others. There is no respect.
In the love story above, respect had been on the top of her list. After being verbally abused, she could see clearly now why it wasn’t on his. He had no intentions of ever respecting her.
When times are tough, they retreat
The spouse doesn't take providing for a family seriously. They're selfish and self-centered. They have no desire to improve themselves and help financially. When there are problems they hide. The partner is left burdened and overwhelmed.
Soon they are fighting about money. Studies say money problems are a leading cause of divorce.
When a partner is immature and doesn’t put any effort into making sure their family is taken care of, it will cause cracks in the foundation of their marriage.
Ignoring their partner
They ignore their partner and put the partner’s needs last. When their partner tries to communicate with them, they vanish to another room. This can cause their partner to nag them, and cause more tension between them.
They put their self, work, extended family, and friends above their partner. The partner feels neglected like they are in the relationship alone.
The lack of communication takes its ugly toll. The couple grows further apart. After a while, the partner will give up trying to get their spouse to notice them, or spend any quality time together. That is a clear sign the marriage is in a lot of trouble.
All the signs were there
All the signs were there in the marriage she thought would last forever. Unfortunately, her husband only cared about work and his parents. She was married but felt like the loneliest person in the world.
She stayed, hoping that his behavior would change. She suggested counseling, but that didn’t work. It was way too late/. He refused to change his behavior at all. They should have heeded the counselor’s warning years ago and saved them both a lot of heartaches. Yet the marriage was meant to be. Because out of it came beautiful children.
She mourned the marriage it could have been. After trying numerous times to get his attention, she finally gave up after many years. A family was torn apart.
The love that burned so brightly was now dead. Lack of respect, addiction, unhealthy parental interference, disinterest, neglect, and contempt killed their marriage.