How to Be More Charismatic

L.A. Strucke

When we learn to value ourselves, others will value us too

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Ever wonder why we’re drawn to some people and not others? There’s a woman I know. When she walks into a room, she energizes it. Everyone present draws closer to her. She is captivating and engaging.

What makes her special

This woman is true to herself. She follows her own bent and doesn’t care about what other people think. She never follows trends; she creates trends. She’s genuine and doesn’t put on airs.

She isn’t wealthy and was never given advantages. She’s had her struggles. Yet she never felt sorry for herself.

She’s warm and generous and shares what she has with others, but she’s no pushover. She is a woman with high value. People want to be friends with her. Witty and charming, she never misses a joke, and being with her is always light-hearted and refreshing. She spreads happiness.

We can all be as charismatic as she is. Here’s how:

Live our authentic lives

We should spend our lives being ourselves and not follow the crowd. We will never stand out if we are always blending in. We should do what we love to do and follow our own interests. It will only make us more interesting to people. People who are passionate about their interests are attractive to others.

Be interested in others

It’s always a good thing to remember people’s names. Treat everyone from the maid to the grocery store clerk like they’re important too. Be genuinely interested in their lives. There’s nothing more unattractive than a self-centered person who only talks about themselves.

Always look our best

We should strive to look our best. In life, we never know who we’ll run into that day. It’s important to wear clothes that flatter us. It doesn’t matter where we get them. It’s helpful to accessorize and have our own style. We don’t need to spend a lot of money. We can find interesting clothes and accessories in thrift shops.

We can try new hairstyles and wear flattering sunglasses, trendy shoes, and boots.

We should accentuate our natural good looks and stay clean and put together. If we have a posture problem, we can seek help to correct it. Someone who takes care of themselves and has style is more attractive than a beautiful person who has zero confidence and lets themselves go.

Be lighthearted with others

No one wants to be around a negative, angry person. When we are feeling down, we should avoid emotional scenes and try to keep them to ourselves. We should be easygoing with others so that they feel at ease and comfortable in our presence. Negative energy only drains others around us.

There is nothing more fun than a person who all the bored people out to the dance floor helping everyone to have a good time.

If we are witty with people, this is a plus. Joking around and leaving people with a smile on their faces makes us more attractive to others.

Be generous with people

Share what we have, and listen to what others have to say. Even if we are poor, we can still share some homemade chocolate chip cookies we baked with friends. We can give someone something we no longer need that they want. Those golf clubs we never use may be an answer to a friend’s prayer.

Be generous with our time. We should listen to others and look them in the eye, letting them feel heard by us. We can be vulnerable with others which will help them feel comfortable getting closer to us.

Pursue our passions without bragging about it

Let our friends and acquaintances find out about us gradually. Imagine this: they’ve been interacting with us for a while, and then suddenly find out (from someone else) that we’ve done something remarkable. First, they’ll be impressed, and then they’ll like us even more because we were humble and chill, and never even mentioned our triumph during our conversations.

Take leadership positions

Think big. People love to follow positive, inspiring leaders. Don’t be that crowd follower. Take leadership roles. Help others achieve by inspiring them and setting an example.

We have the power to change and improve our communities by heading up projects and organizing people to make needed changes. More responsibility creates more impact. We’ll reach more people in bigger roles.

Don’t fear failure. Everybody who is anyone has dealt with rejection in their life. Let’s move past it, and turn the no’s into yeses.

Imagine waking up one day, and knowing because we stepped out of our comfort zone we changed people's lives for the better.

Be assertive and know our value

Stand up for what we believe in. We shouldn’t accept bad behavior from others towards us. People will only treat us the way we allow them to. Assume everyone in the room likes us.

If we have no confidence, we should seek therapy to build up our self-esteem. Low self-worth will wreak havoc in our lives and may keep us from reaching our goals.

We should stay upbeat and focused and not give in to drama, negativity, angry outbursts, and tears — especially in public.

When we learn to value ourselves, others will value us too.

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