How To Stop Listening To The Wrong People

L.A. Strucke

Because they really don't know what's best for you

Photo by Dollar Gill on Unsplash

Are there people in your life always telling you what to do? Do you find yourself going along with them and then living to regret it?

We all have people in our lives that think they know what’s best for us. But do they really?

I once had a bad habit of listening to the wrong people. I let someone talk me out of majoring in a career I truly would have loved in college.

I did what they said and chose something that was supposed to be more practical. And as time went on I realized I should have majored in something else. Maybe you have someone pushy like that in your life too.

People think they know what’s best for us, but the truth is, they don’t.

 They have this view of us- the person that fits their own reality. According to them, we are not supposed to be someone that they don’t think we should be. We should fit nicely in their picture of us. Yet most of the time, it’s the wrong picture- for us.

When it benefits them and not you

What we must realize is that people have their own conscious and even unconscious motivations for leading us in a certain direction. And it usually benefits them.

I have friends that have sent me real estate listing of homes near them in hopes I’d buy one. It sounds wonderful- living near your best friend, but at this time in my life, it wouldn’t be the best path for me. It may be great for them, but they are not walking in my shoes and know what my reality is daily. If they really knew me, they would understand why I haven’t taken up their offer.

Some friends will encourage you to date, someone, you are not even attracted to, because it’s their friend, and they want to do “couple” things with you. If you date this person it will make their life easier.

The advice was to benefit them, but they are insisting it’s the best for you. Sorry friend, it’s not the best for you to date someone you are not even attracted to.

Some narcissistic people will suggest things to you that sounds like it's helping you, but it really isn't. it’s actually better for them. And if you do your own thing, you won’t be able to focus on them anymore. Somewhere deep down they know this, but they’d never admit it.

Some will lead you astray

Some people in your life will get you in bad situations because you follow them into them. After a while, you’ll realize these people are subtracting from your life instead of adding to it.

Avoid the partying friend who will get you involved with people who abuse alcohol and drugs. They may be dishonest and do the wrong things and it will impact you if you associate with them. They’ll make you feel bad because you are not joining them in their shenanigans. They’ll pout if you decide to stay home one night and study. These people are the ones to avoid. They are not helping you, only hurting you, They could ruin your life.

If you hang around with people who hate their jobs, soon you will be griping along with them.

If you spend time with friends who are shopaholics, that could negatively impact your finances. Soon you will be spending money you could have been saving for a better future for yourself on clothes you’ll never wear.

They don’t care about your dreams and personal goals

You’ll tell someone your goal is to be thirty pounds lighter for the sake of your appearance and good health. Next thing you know they will be handing you a piece of homemade cake. “Oh, one piece of cake won’t hurt,” they’ll say. You both know it will.

Their motive (which is probably unconscious) is to keep you as heavy as they are — because they don’t want you to look better than them. And if you stop eating junk food, who will sit there and eat it with them. Do you really think they care about your health and appearance? 

People that think they know what’s best for you will give you advice on your career and suggest jobs you’d never be interested in, yet they will try to convince you to take it. They would take the job, so they assume what’s good for them is good for you.

The truth is they are manipulating you to do what they want
If you do what they think you should do you will be sacrificing your own desires. You will spend your life doing what they want in a career.

One day you’ll see it's not working

Think about times in the past when you took people’s advice. Did you end up in a job you hated? Did you participate in activities that caused you harm?
Did you let go of your dreams?

Examine their life. If it’s not a life you want, get out. If they’ve talked you out of things that would have made you happy- stop listening to them. Their advice is toxic to you. It eats away your dreams like acid.

There's a quote by Jim Rohn: You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
Make a list of your five people. Are they living a lifestyle you love?
Do they have your values and integrity? If they do, you’re on the right path.

Do you even like these people? Because you are just like them. If you want a better quality of life, associate with better people.

The right people will make you feel comfortable in their presence. They encourage you with your own personal goals. They add to your life. They’re fun and interesting but they always do the right thing. They add value o your life, and won’t lead you to trouble.
They’re working towards wonderful goals yet they're there for you when you need them. 

The next time someone tells you what to do

The next time someone tells you what to do, reflect on it.
Consider the source
Why is this person trying to influence you? What are their hidden motives? Is it to help you or does it benefit them in some way?
Do they have life experience?
Listen to their wisdom. It may fit your situation or not. You are not obligated to follow their advice.
Ask yourself this question

Do I want this? If not, say no.

It’s so important to choose your own life and go after your own dreams. You don’t have to listen to people around you. Even if they think they know better. Don’t spend your life living for someone else. Live for you.

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Writing about relationships, family, and self-improvement. Striving to inspire people and create hope for a better future.


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