5 Signs You've Fallen For a Narcissist

L.A. Strucke

Watch out, they'll break your heart


Photo by Leonel Hernandez Arteaga on Unsplash

You’ve met the guy or girl of your dreams. They are charming, charismatic, and everything you’ve always hoped for. In the beginning, it’s like a dream come true. They are showering you with love, pursuing you, and seem very interested. And then you start noticing some disturbing signs that reveal that you’ve fallen for a narcissist.

1. Everything is about them, and not about you.

They put on an act for the entire world because they are so insecure inside. Everyone must think they are amazing in every way.

The more you admire them, the more they’ll want you around.

Every time you get together with them, it’s always on their terms. They arrange every meeting according to how convenient for them it is. They don’t care if they’re inconveniencing you. They never even considered your needs when they planned things.

You find yourself doing everything for them. If you can’t do something for them, they will find someone else to do it. It seems they have a whole tribe of people knocking themselves out to please the narcissist.

When they reach out to you, it’s not to see how you’re doing, it’s usually to tell you something that’s going on with them or ask you for help with something.

You start wondering if they know you at all. And you start noticing that when you need them, for something, they are never around.

2. They have no empathy for you.

When something bad happens to you, they’ll be the first person to point out that others have it much worse than you. They may even call you a cry baby and accuse you of being filled with self-pity. Don’t expect them to offer you a shoulder to cry on. Honestly, they don’t really care that you’re upset.

Some of them will pretend to sympathize with you, but that’s just an act. They really don’t care unless your problem will negatively affect them in some way. Then they’ll be upset, and it will still about them, and not you.

One of the things they love to do is to ruin your day. If things are going great for you, and you’re really happy, expect the narcissist to immediately put that to an end and burst your bubble. They will keep picking on you, and criticizing you until you get upset. Then they will be happy. You will start noticing it's a disturbing pattern with them.

3. You will have no idea where you stand with them.

You’ll think you are in this wonderful budding romance, and then they’ll introduce you to people as a “friend.”

Then you’ll find out, you’re not the only friend. They have a lot of friends of the opposite sex. That would be fine, except for the fact that all these “friends” think they’re more than friends with the narcissist.

The narcissist collects admirers like musicians collect guitars. If one is not available, they use the other one. People are interchangeable, so stop thinking you’re special to them. You are just one of many.

They are incapable of true intimacy, so you’ll start noticing that they will start flaking on you. Whenever you get too close to them, they will pull away. Some will demand space, or they’ll just randomly disappear for a few days. What’s even worse is that when they come back they will act like nothing ever happened. You’ll wonder if you’re losing it.

Many times they will disappear because they’ve found another admirer that’s giving them a lot more attention. They’ll start focusing on all your flaws and criticizing you, and then the next thing you know, the texts will stop coming. They’ll be busy with their new person and have seemed to have forgotten who you are.

But when they get tired of their new admirer, they’ll hoover back to you, expecting you to still be there. People are easily replaceable to them. Remember that. And a narcissist needs a constant supply of people to make them feel good about themselves. That’s why they come back to you when the new person isn’t giving them enough attention.

4. They’ll Gaslight You

Narcissists are masters at making you feel like you’re going crazy. They’ll make you feel like you’re overemotional or that your needs aren’t important. They’ll tell you you’re too sensitive and you’re overreacting to a situation.

They will refuse to listen to you when you’re trying to discuss something important with them. They’ll tell you they don’t want to talk about it right now and change the subject immediately. And as time goes on, you’ll never talk about it. Because they aren’t interested in hearing what you have to say. Whenever you try to get serious, they’ll turn everything into a joke.

They’ll forget promises they made to you, and insist they never said something that you know they definitely said. You will start questioning your own sanity.

They will act as if an event never happened. They’ll question your memory. They’ll make comments like, “You’re imagining things, that never happened. That’s just your version of the story., not the correct version.”

5. Everything is Always Your Fault.

You can never win an argument with a narcissist. Don’t even try. They always think they’re right.

You will find yourself apologizing for things you never did when they are the ones that should be apologizing to you - but they never will.

When you’re with a narcissist, they consider themselves superior to you. You are supposed to acquiesce to everything they say.

If you dare to criticize them, or even worse embarrass them in front of people, be prepared for trouble. They cannot stand being criticized and to publically embarrass them is unforgivable. They will explode in a tirade against you that you will never forget.

In Conclusion

Falling for a narcissist will break your heart into a million pieces. It rarely turns out well. If you recognize these signs in the one you love, be prepared to walk away unless you’re willing to endure a dream that will explode into a nightmare.

And remember when someone comes on too strong in the beginning, it’s not a good sign. Wait and observe their behavior. And if they exhibit the signs above, have the strength to do what’s best for you.

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Writing about relationships, family, and self-improvement. Striving to inspire people and create hope for a better future.


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