"Tindering" Should Be a Verb

Kristi Keller

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Tinder is such a multi-faceted activity.

Many words in the English language can be turned into verbs depending on how you interpret them, and even more on how you use them.

In fact, I once turned the word Tobago (yes the island) into a verb some years back. "Tobago-ing" actually landed me a spot on the local news.

Yes, those were my glory days of being newsworthy.

Anyway, back to the point. A verb is a word used to describe an action, a state, or an occurrence. The word “Tindering” beautifully encompasses all three of those.

The Action of Tindering

This is the mindful practice of setting time aside to pick up your phone and do the deed. If we make a habit of it, it doesn’t take long before we’re efficient and proficient with it.

The action of Tindering can be a lot like vacuuming. Nobody really wants to do it but you feel a little more satisfied once it’s done. We exercise our due diligence swiping back and forth, just like vacuuming.

Swiping cleans up the messes we have to look at on Tinder each day.

A right swipe means it looks satisfactory and somewhat clean, and it may last about a week before we have to swipe again.

A left swipe means that mess lands in the dust bin where it belongs, with all the other particles of dust.

The State of Tindering

This is the part where the purposeful action turns into a state of being glazed over. Your eyes are no longer doing what they’re supposed to because you’ve subconsciously blocked out the action.

You’re no longer paying attention to what you’re swiping because there have been so many left swipes that you start doubting your ability to swipe right.

It becomes a robotic state of mind. Swipe. Swipe. Swipe.

In the state of Tindering you aren’t even thinking about it anymore, it just happens.

This is the most dangerous state to be in because the left swipe is so ingrained into your behavior that you may automatically do it when you didn’t mean to.

Our swiping thumbs move faster than our eyes and brains and you can end up swiping left accidentally, before your brain realizes it actually wanted to look at that guy first.

Damn. Now you’ll never know.

An Occurrence of Tindering

The word occurrence can also be referred to as an event or an incident. In the case of Tindering, this is what we refer to as an actual date. You made it through the action and the state, and have graduated to an occurrence.

Mind you, it’s not a very common occurrence but it can happen out of the blue. He seems worthy of a date so you take time out of your busy weekend to get dolled up and go meet the guy.

Some occurrences can last up to four hours before you realize he was just saying what you wanted to hear in hopes of getting horizontal at the end of the night. Or vertical behind a dumpster on a coffee break at work.

Some occurrences may only last one hour before you realize you don’t want to upgrade to the four hour occurrence. This may happen through conversation, when you realize he’s telling you the world is flat and that no one ever landed on the moon. It’s all just media propaganda. (Yes, that was a true Tinder occurrence for me.)

And lastly, the rare incident that the occurrence doesn’t happen at all, because you did a drive-by first and he’s not at all what his pictures suggested.

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While Tindering may never offer us an opportunity to appear on the local news — like Tobago-ing does — it can offer us the fantastic opportunity of time wasting that we’re always looking for.

I mean, aren’t we always looking for something to sidetrack us from getting the real things of life done? Why not try Tindering instead of Facebooking for a change?

Just keep your Tindering in the action phase and be mindful not to end up in the state phase. That’s where it all goes downhill.

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I'm an old school travel writer who's been flung into another writing world through life experience. I have a compassionate eye, a different opinion, and strong words for this world we live in. I also know a thing or two.

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