Is it healthy to have competition in relationships? It can be natural to want to outdo your partner at something, but when it turns into an obsession and leads to hurt feelings, it can become a problem. A man explains his situation on Reddit.
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A man's girlfriend has been testing him lately with 'intellectual games'. He wonders why because she loses most of the time then gets angry with him:
She brings me crosswords, puzzles, logic riddles, math problems, and gets frustrated when I outdo her 95% of the time. She even begs me to play chess and other "intelligent" games, but throws a tantrum every time she loses.
He explains she has always liked that he was a smart guy:
She literally used to tell me that she liked me because I was very smart, and that guys dumber than her repulsed her.
However, not it seems like a problem that is smart. One day after a game of chess, he told her to just let it go and accept that he was smarter than her:
I told her after a chess game yesterday to stop testing me and just accept that I am smarter than her at these types of games,
The girlfriend was offended by this and began to cry and call him an asshole. But he did not mean to make her feel less than:
I tried explaining to her that she has other strengths where she outdoes me by far and there's no use competing over unimportant things like this,
The truth is, no one likes feeling inadequate when compared to their partner—especially if their partner is someone they look up to or admire in some way. But there are healthier ways of addressing this than engaging in constant competition which only creates tension between them. Even if they are both competitive people by nature, there are certain boundaries that should be respected when it comes to relationships.
Do you think he was in the wrong?
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What are your thoughts?
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