Being a father is almost certainly going to be the single most important thing you do with your life.. However, it isn't the only one. And it's not something that happens by itself. Being a good husband and a good man will help you become a better father. For the simple reason that your children will learn more from witnessing your actions than from hearing you lecture them. So, if you can be a good man and a good husband, you've already accomplished most of the hard work of becoming a good father.
This issue was brought to light in a recent post that was published online. In the post, a daughter described how she had literally shown her father how he behaves every day when he gets home from work in the hopes of subtly lecturing him about his behavior.
The author begins by describing her parents' relationship, noting that her father is the "breadwinner" and her mother is a "stay at home mom." Her mother is the sole domestic provider, taking care of all meal preparation, cleaning, laundry, etc. She's the oldest and tries to pitch in, but there's only so much she can do when her dad comes home from work and complains about everything. Such as the dirty carpet and the cold food.
The result was that she had to sit through an enormous quarrel between her parents every single day.
It's exhausting but honestly...I think that my dad is in the wrong here. I tried talking to him to get him to see how his behavior is but to no avail.
Therefore, what she did was schedule a day off for him and then act as if she were him at that time. She slapped some black tape on her upper lip to make it look like she had a mustache and wore a dress that was meant to look like a suit. She entered the home about six o'clock in the evening.
After yelling "I'M HOME!! ", she plopped down next to him in the living room and began kicking her shoes while making loud complaints about the condition of the house. He cast a perplexed gaze in her direction before inquiring what she was up to. She pretended not to hear him and then started ranting about how the carpet was unclean, the shower wasn't ready, the children needed to be quiet, and other things along those lines.
While her mother and siblings giggled, her father just stared. Her little brother continued telling, "this is daddy," and pointed to her. She started screaming about dinner and then scolded her mother for being late with the preparations. Her father intervened and questioned her in a serious tone what she was doing. As she faced him, she said:
"WHAT?! CAN'T A MAN EFFING REST AFTER WORKING LONG HOURS!!"
In her roughest, most masculine voice possible. Because this was a phrase he uses frequently, her dad got the hint. He stopped speaking and stopped looking at her. She stopped the act to explain that she was merely illustrating how he typically acts when he gets home from work. He didn't respond to her at all, instead walking outside and ignoring her.
He elaborated afterwards on how she had "mocked" and invalidated him. He does work hard, thus her actions were demeaning and insulting. Her mother found it humorous, but she worried that her daughter had offended her father and wished she had chosen a different tactic to convey her point.
Do you think the author was wrong to treat her father the way she did? Is there anything you would have done differently?
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