Opinion: How Soon is Too Soon for Dating After Your Divorce


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It appears that five months after finalizing their divorce, Gisele Bundchen, ex-wife of Tom Brady is supposedly dating his billionaire friend of his.

Enquiring minds want to know, is she moving on too soon?

Some say the best way to get over a breakup is to get right back into dating, others say some time away is necessary to process your feelings and protect your mental health. But how soon is too soon, and who gets to decide when the right time is?

According to Psychology Today, many people will have their own ideas about when you should move on from a broken relationship. Some say six months, some say one year. Ultimately, the decision to move on is entirely your own.

When you have been in a long-term relationship and suddenly find yourself single, your feelings may come as quite a shock to you. There is an initial period of shock, grief, and anger and those emotions can circle around and around you for quite some time. Per Elizabeth Kubler Ross' stages of grief, when we feel we have lost something dear, we must go through the following stages: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages do not necessarily occur in any particular order and you may also go from denial to depression and bounce back and forth until you find acceptance and finally peace.

No one can predict the length of time it may take you to come to some acceptance and 'find' yourself again. When it comes to knowing when to date, it may not necessarily be a matter of a particular time frame, but rather when the time and chemistry are right, and there is chemistry, you will put yourself back on the dating scene.

Often times before a couple separates, there has been some emotional and possibly physical distance for some time. And the person who actually leaves the relationship may have been considering leaving for some time and had time to detach and go through their stages of grief.

But the person who gets left behind may be caught off-guard when they suddenly find themselves 'abandoned'.

One key according to psychology is not to force yourself to quickly get back into the dating game. Give yourself as long as you need before you jump into the dating game again. If the stages of grief are overlooked, your return to a state of mental health will not be possible until you have healed. Therefore, try not to rush, take time to find yourself as you navigate the landscape of your mental health.

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