A new mother plans to have her new baby share her stepdaughter's room, is that fair to the 10-year-old? (Opinion)


A child enjoying their personal space --Photo byEmily Wade on Unsplash

According to this story, a new mom who is the stepmother to a 12-year-old girl has garnered a ton of views and strong opinions online as a result of a decision she has to make.

The new mother goes on to state that she recently had a baby and that she and the significant other live in a two-bedroom apartment. She claims to have known her stepdaughter for the past ten years since she has been dating her father and says that they are quite close.

She is asking for advice; she wants to move her baby when it is a little over one year old into the room with her pre-teen stepdaughter and is seeking advice.

Here it goes ...

I could not see a girl of ten wanting to share her room with a sibling much more a toddling baby. According to the stepmother, the girl only visits two weekends per month and has her bedroom beautifully and imaginatively decorated. This stands to reason that the pre-teen has grown accustomed to having her privacy whenever she visits. Further to that there is the new baby for her to get used to. She has to adjust to the fact that the new baby will be taking up a lot of time, attention, and affection that had been previously reserved for her.

Then there is the projection disruption and displacement that a toddler will bring into the space. The child will be all around the room touching all the pre-teen's toys, trinkets, and special objects. Inevitably a few will become broken. Not to mention the privacy that will be lost. She will not be able to keep her bedroom door closed as the child will need the freedom to explore and move in and out at free will.

The toddler will also create some noise and mess and the difference in sleep schedules between the two will certainly not create a harmonious sibling situation that will undoubtedly spill over into other areas of their lives and will eventually impact the couple's relationship.


What other issues might you foresee?

Do you think this is a situation that is fair? Do you think it should be done?

What outcomes do you envision?

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