San Francisco, CA

Postdates: The app to get your stuff back before it gets burned

Josue Torres

San Francisco’s new invention is similar to Postmates, except it’s for getting your belongings back from your ex.

Postdates is designed to appear like the Postmates website, with options for different types of relationships such as “casually dated,” “lived together,” “one night stand,” and so on. 

Then you may pick from a list of pre-selected things (concert tickets if you were friend-zoned, family treasures if you were divorced) or create your own. In Los Angeles and New York, delivery costs start at $25 and $30, respectively, plus a $3.99 emotional labor charge.

Yes, you may utilize this service if you live in one of these two cities, however, Postdates is just temporary. “It’s kind of like watching a ‘Black Mirror’ episode, but it’s your real life,” says Postdates’ San Francisco founder Ani Acopian.

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Photo by Gaspar Uhas.Unsplash

You may recall Elon Musk’s failed comedy startup “intergalactic media empire,” Thud, which sought to produce immersive digital experiences that blurred the boundaries between reality and fiction. 

Or maybe you don’t remember Thud because it bombed and wasn’t particularly amusing. Postdates achieved the satirical gold that Elon Musk envisioned with Thud, but without the $2 million in financing from one of the world’s wealthiest men.

Ani Acopian, a filmmaker and conceptual artist, announced the debut of a service called PostDates in a tweet on June 29th, accompanied by a brief, tongue-in-cheek promotional video. 

The app’s premise was straightforward: “We get your stuff back from your ex so you don’t have to,” said the tweet. A courier hired by PostDates’ partners, AirPals or Gourmet Runner, will either deliver the item or collect it from your ex’s home for a little charge — $25 in Los Angeles, $30 in New York City — for a small cost. “It works just like your favorite delivery app, but in break-up form,” says the website’s slogan.

PostDates is a business that, according to its website, outsources one of the most uncomfortable aspects of every breakup, collecting up the remnants of your previous relationship from your ex’s home, to gig workers.

Would you use Postdates?

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