You're The Only Person Holding Yourself Back, No One Else

Jordan Mendiola

Photo by Connor Jalbert on Unsplash

Excuses are on every corner imaginable. 

Given a goal, there are always going to be setbacks. If you take all the time in the world looking at everything that could possibly go wrong, you may result in inaction. 

Sometimes in life, you have to take a leap of faith even though you don’t know the outcome. It’s far better to take a chance and fail rather than sit by and watch life pass you by.

All my life, I’ve never made an excuse that my life’s circumstances are because of one singular person’s actions. Therefore, I live a life that’s based on my accountability. I am responsible for my own happiness, and so is everyone else.

A person who excels doesn’t hold back because of fear.

Fear is the most lethal dream killer. 

You have to do things in life that scare you even if you’re unprepared. As with anything in life, the greatest moments don’t fall right into your lap.

It takes time to fail and fail again until you find your footing. 

  • If it’s school, you’re probably going to struggle for a while until you get into the groove of things.
  • If it’s fitness, you’re going to have lazy days where you don’t want to lace up and exercise.
  • If it’s any goal, you’re going to have bad days where you don’t make any progress at all.

I used to be afraid to step out of my comfort zone in high school, but after joining the Army and being forced to be uncomfortable, I excelled in other parts of my life.

I’m not saying you have to join the military in order to overcome your fears and be more accountable for your actions, but it did help me develop a lot as a person.

The excuse-makers are going to be left in the dust unless they take responsibility.

Excuses are an easy scapegoat for the reasons you aren’t going the direction you want to in life. It’s too easy that we use them as a crutch for why we don’t do things.

Our insecurities are masked in the excuses we make. We find one thing that we can always resort to as the reason for our inaction.

If you’re someone with a setlist of excuses you lean on when you’re feeling empty or regret from taking a chance, then you have to start there.

I used to be upset that I didn’t have enough money in my bank account as a “broke college student”, so that’s why I started my own dog walking business, worked for my friend’s parents, and had a part-time job all while going to school.

Responsibility is something I had to learn at a young age. I wanted more money to travel, enjoy good food, and go to expensive music festivals, so I worked my ass off.

Everyone can get what they want the moment they assume responsibility and do whatever it takes to get there.

No one is going to hold your hand along this journey in life.

We have friends, significant others, family, and so on. But who can we lean on when it comes down to it? Ourselves. 

You have to assume that you’re on your own at all times. Sure you can have mentors, moral support, and positive energy surrounding you, but at the root of all things, you’re on your own.

Mommy and daddy can’t hold your hand with every little thing you do. The moment you jump through hoops, fail, and struggle on your own, you’re set free.

No one is holding you back. No mistake or failure in your life is anyone else’s fault and you get to enjoy your wins and your losses. 

I have asked for guidance emotionally, for a job, or life advice before, but that doesn’t stop me from assuming responsibility. 

There are infinite amounts of content I could absorb in the world, but the only information that really matters is the one I apply to my own life. You have to decide what stays in and what goes out.

Final Thought

The lone wolf mentality of living a happy life is one that has to start from within. You can’t depend too heavily on someone else for your achievements or happiness.

To some degree, you’re going to be on your own in life with no one else to do all the heavy lifting for you. So my question is, what is it that you want to achieve in your lifetime?

Take that goal, study it, research it, apply what you learn, and do it on a consistent basis now. 

You’re the only one who can kickstart your success, but at the same time, you’re the only one who can destroy it too.

At the end of the day, the choice is only yours. 

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Creative entrepreneur, U.S. Army Engineer, and dedicated runner. Committed to sharing ideas that lead to more fulfillment in all areas of life. Email:

Chicago, IL

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