3 Ways to Overcome Relationship Jealousy

Jordan Mendiola

Photo by Ben Warren on Unsplash

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Who are you texting? Why are you smiling that way? I know I didn’t put that smile on your face, and now I’m jealous. This is a prime example of the shitty feeling of jealousy.

If you’re lucky enough to meet the love of your life, someone you see yourself being with until the end, then odds are, you’re going to be overprotective and want them all to yourself. This is normal.

This is something I’m dealing with in my relationship, and it’s not easy. I want to be better and treat my girlfriend with the respect and space she deserves if she ever needs it without wondering if I might lose her to someone else.

Here are some of the ways I and anyone in a committed relationship can utilize to overcome jealousy and not ruin your beautiful bond.

1. Trust Your Partner No Matter What

Every relationship is different, and if you’ve had your heart broken in the past, it can be extremely difficult to open back up. It’s not like you can forget traumatic experiences from the past and not have your guard up.

The thing is, you need to give the person you’re with your trust so that you can both thrive and move past any feelings of jealousy. If your significant other go out or texts someone else, you need to trust that he or she will not make advances.

In many cases, it’s not your partner you don’t trust. It’s the other men and women who see the amazing characteristics of your man or your woman. People out there will do anything to be a homewrecker and completely refuse to acknowledge and respect your relationship.

Our significant others have friends. There are people they connect with. You can’t be the only one, although your connection is most the strongest of them all. Codependency is a tough situation because you feel like you only get happiness from your partner and no one else.

Actionable Advice:

Remind yourself how lucky your partner is to have you. Acknowledge everything you’ve done for one another and recognize that the thoughts of jealousy are irrational and that you can trust them. It may not be easy to get over jealousy on your own, but you have to trust your partner, and you have to trust the process.

2. Give Your Partner Personal Space

When you and your partner both give each other space to do your own thing, it’s a way of allowing both of you to work on yourselves. Take care of yourself and do the things you love in the personal time period because that’s the only way you’ll be able to stop being codependent on one another.

Without space, you get attached and fear losing this person. You’ll see everyone else as a threat when really they’re not. It works both ways because you may feel jealous over an innocent action your partner does, like text another person, and that’s not healthy.

You should be able to let your partner live his or her life while having healthy boundaries and maintaining time to spend together. It’s not always easy to give space, but in order to prevent possessiveness or resentment, personal time is crucial to your relationship.

Actionable Advice:

Personal space is hard when your significant other is also your best friend, but you have to set aside time for you to do you and them to do them. You may want them all to yourself or vice versa, but you’ve got to do what makes you happy and find a way to enjoy it without them. It can be tough, but you must if you care about your relationship.

3. Do The Things You Enjoy

When you fall in love, it’s easy to block out the rest of the world and only focus on your special significant other. Think back to what you were doing prior to your intense relationship. What did you do for fun? Which friends did you reach out to? Are you still doing these things?

Your partner should be a great part of your life because they’re your woman or they’re your man. Don’t cut everyone else off just because you want to spend all of the time in the world with them. Everything needs a balance. It may be true that you want to share as many experiences as possible with your partner, but you need to be okay doing things on your own or with other people.

Life is an amazing thing because you get to write your own story and do the hobbies or activities you enjoy doing. You should feel happy doing things you love without feeling an empty pain in your chest. Once you’re able to stand on your own two feet and not depend on your partner, you regain confidence in yourself and lessen your clinginess.

Actionable Advice:

Do the things that bring you joy and happiness. Recognize that you have interests, and so does your partner. You have friends, and so does your partner. Don’t let all the noise outside of time spent together to drown out the fact that you’re in love and want your partner all to yourself.

Final Thoughts

Whether you’re dating, married, or still in the talking phase, jealousy will present itself. Sometimes it’ll present itself when you least expect it. You’ll feel jealous when you know you shouldn’t.

There will be times where you realize it's irrational, but it’s okay. Make sure to tell your partner how you’re feeling and work on solutions to resolve any tension.

The worst thing you could do is bottle these emotions up and blow up later on down the line. Remember how you lived your life prior to meeting your partner and acknowledging how grateful you are to now have them in your life without feeling the need to be jealous.

Talking about jealousy with your partner will help you both overcome it.

Creating a plan and working towards a solution — now that is how you allow your relationship to flourish.

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Creative entrepreneur, U.S. Army Engineer, and dedicated runner. Committed to sharing ideas that lead to more fulfillment in all areas of life. Email: mendiola1829@gmail.com

Chicago, IL
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