How to Cope With Not Seeing Your Friends

Jordan Mendiola

Photo by Grace Madeline on Unsplash

Do you ever feel lonely? Do you wish you could see your friends from school, work, or any other meaningful memory from years past? Me too.

It’s only been a few days since I’ve returned home from deployment, and I already miss my friends dearly. The bond we built overseas is one unlike any other I’ve ever had with any other people.

Adjusting to spending time with yourself and not the people you’re used to seeing can be incredibly challenging. It’s important to have a plan in place to fight the pain and emptiness you may feel in times of reminiscing.

When you’re missing your friends, here’s what you have to do:

Remember You Have Yourself

When it’s all said and done, and memories are a thing of the past, you’ve got to remember you have yourself. You are the person who is ultimately responsible for making yourself happy.

All of the memories from years past with your friends are something to be incredibly grateful for. I still think back to day 1 of 334 on my deployment when we were all just acquaintances. By day 334, I can call my friends my family, and they know I’ll have their back any day of the week.

Remember that before you met the friends you miss that you were someone of high value because clearly, you met other quality people who made an everlasting impression on you. Someone who’s unlikeable can’t make quality friends.

But you did, so don’t be too hard on yourself when thinking about people you miss. You are amazing and have so much to look forward to. The life lessons you learn through friends are going to be vital to any of your future successes.

Friends Come and Go

People can come into our lives just as quickly as they can go. It’s just the way of life. We’re going to be blessed to meet incredible individuals who leave a mark on our lives.

It is these micro-interactions that all add up and turn us into the people we’re supposed to be. Just because friends come and go does not mean you did anything wrong. It’s just the way of life.

When you’re feeling down and isolated from the world, look back into the pictures and videos you ever took with the people you miss. I just pieced together a slideshow of our entire deployment, and it makes me smile a lot.

Reminiscing the “good ole’ days” is healthy and good for your mental health. People move to different places and walk down different paths of life. No friendship is ever going to be a straight shot unless you’re basically clones of one another.

Take things one day at a time and know that if you stopped seeing amazing friends does not mean that you cannot make amazing friends.

Be Grateful for What You Have

There are roughly 7 billion people in the world, and unless you are number 7 billion on the world rankings, I am sure you can find a few things to be grateful for.

When the times get tough, reflecting on the positives will go a long way. Positive thoughts carry more motivation than negative thoughts such as “life is not fair.”

Just because you no longer see the good friends who were part of your regular lifestyle doesn’t mean that your world has to turn upside down. You can move past it. You have your current friends, family, pets, and anything else that makes your heart feel whole.

We can all live happier and healthier lives as long as we are thankful. Not every day is going to be lovely, but there’s always at least one positive to take away.

Closing Remarks

Missing friends is a tough thing to deal with, but at the end of the day, that’s life. The key takeaways are to remember you have yourself, understand that friends come and go, and to be grateful for what you have.

Give yourself permission to reminisce over the good times you’ve had. Just be sure to keep an open mind that at any time, life can throw you curve balls and change the direction.

Not all friends are able to stick around forever, but the memories of them will always live on.

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Creative entrepreneur, U.S. Army Engineer, and dedicated runner. Committed to sharing ideas that lead to more fulfillment in all areas of life. Email:

Chicago, IL

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