Opinion: Watch out for angry women and flying objects in Florida

JoAnn Ryan

Just like hurricanes, people too may hurl things around violently when they get in a snit about something. At least the hurricane has an excuse, one could argue, it can't help being a hurricane. Can the same be said of humans though? Aren't humans supposed to be able to control their behavior better than a dang hurricane?

Check out these horrifying cases of angry females and flying objects. Be warned, if you piss off a Florida woman be prepared for the consequences.

Read on for more specific warnings, and please don't think I'm unfairly picking on the poor Florida women here. Knowledge of the disturbing acts of the Florida Man is already well documented.

Attention: Men who fish

Love to fish? Are those fish really more important than your significant other?

If your answer to both questions is yes, you may want to prepare yourself for the worst, just like this baby-daddy in Pasco County who, according to police, got smacked in the head with a pot because his baby-mama said he was fishing too much.

What to do: One take-away I gleamed from the article is that if your woman is mad at you for fishing too much, make sure to maintain eye contact at all times. Notice how it was only when this man wasn't looking that the unthinkable happened.

Luckily the baby was not present in the home at the time. Small miracles should be applauded.

Watch out for flying coconuts, too

With so much talk of coconuts falling off trees and hitting people in the head, I'm shocked that cases of people actually intentionally using a coconut to throw at someone seems to be getting overlooked.

In Key West, a man was allegedly hit with a flying coconut that was hurled at him by an upset stripper. After reading the story though, I have to say I'm kind of siding with the young woman here though. Hear me out. She's just trying to make an honest buck after all, and along comes this man doing his catcall and trying to capture it on a video camera without even asking for permission or anything.

While I would never condone violence, just going repeat this again: if you're going to disrespect a Florida woman, be prepared for the consequences. That's all I'm saying.

It's tough being a Florida law officer

These next two incidents are far more serious and much less funny. Someone could have really gotten hurt when a woman threw a concrete block at two police officers in Cape Coral. Wow! Also, earlier this year a Martin County woman threw a live snake at officers!

What's sad though, is that from reading these stories it could be supposed that both women were probably having some kind of mental episode or perhaps were under the influence of some kind of substance. One seriously sad aspect I've observed from my past ten years of living in Florida is just how many people roam our streets every day without getting any kind of help or services for such things. Other states I've lived in seem to do a much better job at providing services for both the mentally ill and for substance abusers.

Has anyone else found this to be true or observed this for themselves?

Then again, some women are just plain evil

It is true though. There are indeed some females who are just downright bad and evil, like this incident when two women threw bottles of glitter at a man and then broke into his house in Clearwater.

One might wonder why they would do such a thing. However, looking at the photos of the two smirking women in their mug shots was rather unsettling, and led me to think that their intentions were likely far less than honorable, and perhaps even downright sinister.

Who smiles when getting their mug shot taken?

Florida workers and bad customer service

Florida workers, be extra careful if a woman becomes dissatisfied with the service you are providing.

It may not even be your fault; you are merely one human being after all trying to work hard and get by in life. Still, not everyone may be so forgiving. Take the case of this Deltona woman hurling pizza at the owner of a pizza restaurant when she didn't get the kind of customer service she'd been expecting. And here's yet another similar story of a woman throwing pizza at a worker in New Port Richey.

Having food thrown at you is never pleasant... unless it's chocolate... and it lands right in my mouth. Don't mind that.

Have you ever had a Florida woman throw something at you? Did she have a good reason?

Comments / 57

Published by

Writer and lover of life!

Orlando, FL
2K followers

More from JoAnn Ryan

Comments / 0