How To Live The Life You Want

Jake Wells by Pixabay

You know you are meant to do more with your life.

You might want another job or to move to another part of the world.

Maybe you want to get out of debt, start a business, or even write a book.

Even as you read these words, you start to get a little scared, right?

Don’t worry — it is completely normal. Fear is something we all face. And it's often the main thing that stops you from living the life you want. I'm going to take a closer look at fear so you can figure out how you can move forward and do what it is you really want to do.

1. Learn To Recognize Fear.

Sometimes it is obvious that the problem is fear, but fear loves to pop up in many different ways:

  • Fear of failure- This is when you are convinced failure is going to happen. You might even feel that you will end up broke and homeless.
  • Fear of success- You might be afraid of being overwhelmed and then having new responsibilities or disappointing others.
  • Fear of missing out- FOMO can disguise itself as avoiding decisions or even procrastination.

While there may be a hint of logic or truth at the core of fear, it is often blown out of proportion in your mind because fear loves extremes.

When someone says something less than positive about something you created, fear says “everyone hates me.”

Even if you get some positive feedback, it’s a lie because they “were just being nice.”

Fear loves to rationalize with you. by Pixabay

Know this: If you’re making excuses, it is often because of fear.

Not always — say if one of your kids is sick or something like that — but in many cases it is fear.

Fear is very subtle.

It says things like, “You just need to read one more book before you’re ready,” or “You need to buy this plugin or that application.” In some cases this is true, but more often than not it is really procrastination or perfectionism — both have the power to stop you from finishing your work.

2. Fear Crumbles When You Have Structure.

When you have a plan, fear starts to retreat.

If you’re not good at planning, keep it simple so you have a plan that is manageable for you.

Having some form of system in place is often the difference between finishing or quitting when adversity comes your way. And don’t forget how important your daily routine is in making fear loosen its grip on you. Every healthy habit you have in place pushes you past fear.

3. Fear Runs Away From Support.

Fear wants you to be as isolated as possible and to be alone in a miserable, fear-filled place. I get it. You want to show that you’re strong. But asking for help shows great strength too. Join a mastermind or even start one of your own. Ask for help. Get a coach that can help you improve. Knowing you are not alone is very, very powerful.

4. Use Stubbornness To Your Advantage.

This is when you grit your teeth and accomplish the task even though at the time you really don’t want to.

An episode (or five) on Netflix may scream your name but you refuse to budge until the work is finished.

5. Most Of All, Fear Hates Hard Work.

This is the work that drains you and tires you out. The work you might want to outsource. There’s a reason it’s called HARD work, right?

It’s not supposed to be easy. This is what separates the pros from the amateurs.

Lastly, know this fight with fear does not stop. It is important to surround yourself with good positive people in real life who support you and encourage you.

You can do this. Be stubborn.

No one will give you the life you want — you’ll have to fight for it.

Every single day you make a decision to face your fear or to give into it. Keep showing up when fear tells you to go back to sleep. As you keep doing the work, you will start to build the life you want.

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