I had a challenging event take place at the end of April. That became somewhat resolved but then I had the rug pulled out from under me again, throwing me into more worrisome terrain.
Those following me closely may recall me griping about it in my stories.
I eventually made a decision — for better or worse — that would quiet my nervous system. I got some advice from a trustworthy friend steering me in a direction and I settled down.
Recently, I got sideswiped again by another factor affecting this situation that I could have never predicted. Well, let’s just say I could have never imagined any of these things occurring to begin with.
I have lately been giving myself a certain amount of time to live in calm waters — relating to the recent change in conditions — before acting to address the problem.
I really don’t like the stress of having things on my mind so I try to level off into temporary modes of management until I have further news.
Meanwhile, I assumed I had all the knowledge regarding the landscape of this particular situation. And then something new arose today that made my decision occur prematurely and easily.
A public occurrence took place — completely outside my life — and someone was reporting on it offering relevant facts that inadvertently connected to my dilemma.
And bam. I picked up the phone and tidied up the looming question mark right there and then.
I could not have foreseen this sudden shift, similar to all the stages of this unexpected scenario since its inception.
It has felt like one giant puzzle.
The irony is that the second seemingly bad thing that happened — after the initial strike of misfortune — turned out to be a blessing in disguise in light of the third disturbance.
Even though I knew that a few weeks ago, I’ve still been burdened by the prospect of believing I only had two choices.
Neither was great.
But with today’s input of external reporting — on something unrelated to my life — the choice was blatantly in my face and no longer felt overwhelming.
I’m not saying there isn’t still an element of annoyance but the outside influence made my decision a no-brainer. The level of clarity overpowered any trepidation I had about moving in this direction.
I am very aware — due to personal circumstances in the last sixteen years — that things can go in ways we could never dream of. For better and worse.
And yet, as humans we tend to look for a mental landing to perch on when things appear to be obvious enough.
I have been tricked repeatedly in these last years but this recent stuff has been even weirder. So each time I thought I had all the necessary data (since April), I’ve been really surprised to be taken into stranger territory.
It was a pleasant reminder today that sometimes when things go awry and appear to have no further path of least resistance, there can still emerge a natural facilitation beyond our calculations.
Most ironic was acknowledging that the terrible thing that had evolved in May turned out to be the lifesaver for the newer shocking twist in plot.
And vice versa.
Although I was aware of this before this afternoon, the push I needed could not have come from a less fathomable source. It was the final straw that broke the camel’s back in a helpful manner.
If you had a hard time following this I apologize. Without providing details I have tried to share the labyrinth of wild mystery I’ve been dealing with. It has been a convoluted ride to say the least.
My takeaway is to try to remember that when life throws me a curveball that I assume will land me in an undesired trajectory, it’s never the whole story.
I’m not saying there are losses we will ever think were good or even okay, but there are some types of misadventures that can end up being useful when more events unfold.
This is a very challenging mindset to adopt and most of us have seen it in action one time or another.
We laugh and say,
“Oh, if that hadn’t happened then that could have never happened!”
And of course, even now I could be tossed another loop that I’m not anticipating. Nevertheless, I will stay balanced for the time being in the relief of having been assisted by life regarding the issue that required a response sooner than later.
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