But you probably should
You want to know us, what we want.
If a man could figure that out that then man could have all the secrets to the world.
But what if I told you, there are a few things we do not want you to know?
What if we're not all sugar and nice?
But a bit more spice?
1. What We Do In The Shower
Imagine a woman in the shower.
It’s a nice thought in general. You can picture the water falling down her long hair, the drops like happy tears falling down her face, the bubbles on her body.
But, here’s what you don’t see.
When a woman wears her hair up all day, she sheds less as it’s tucked inside the bun.
It’s just natural.
Then we brush it all out and those longs strands go to our brush.
We can't catch all those long/short locks.
Which means, as we’re shampooing and conditioning we shed or find more hair in our fingertips.
Don’t worry, we dispose of them (generally in a garbage or toilet is nearby).
But here’s the thing we don’t want you to know.
Sometimes, we play with those hairs first. We put them on the shower wall and watch them slither around like a snake before we toss them.
Gross? Yep. And I can’t believe I’m telling you this.
But we were little girls once too and we played and came up with weird habits, too.
Yes, while we don’t do this every time now you know just another reason why women take such long showers.
2. What We Really Want?
While in bed with my husband last night, I asked him a question, “Do you think women are hard to understand?”
He surprised me. I thought for sure he would say that we’re not hard to understand as he has a good grasp of what we want or need.
But he said, “Yes.”
When I asked him why women are hard to understand he said it’s because we don’t know what we want.
We laid down and I pondered this. It’s funny that he should say that because in his non-understanding, my husband understands women.
Because here’s the thing.
Sometimes, we don’t know what we want.
Dinner? Gah, no idea. You choose. Wait, no not Mexican, Not Italian. No, ugh not burgers.
See? I know you know the feeling.
What to wear? There are a million reasons why we can’t choose.
Those pants? I don’t care how they make my butt look but I can tell you about the tag on the side, which I tried to take off but still stuck around, will scratch me all night.
That shirt? I don’t like that color anymore.
And these dresses? I’m not sure if they’re out of style. Am I old?
Getting dressed can feel a bit like having ADHD.
And it’s more than just with the little things. Like when dating.
Sometimes we can’t decide if you’re the one due to many reasons. But most of the time we're looking for that one thing: Love.
When we have that, we know.
Women think periods are gross. More gross than you want to know. Natural, yes. Should we be ashamed and hide it?
But that doesn't mean we enjoy talking about it (I’m cringing here). Yes, they’re gross. And you didn’t want to know it, but it’s true.
Oh, and there’s no way we can, um, hold it in like when someone has to pee. That is a myth. Just so you know.
4. Not To Roar, But To Be Heard
I almost don’t want to say this one in case it gets taken out of context.
But, like all people, women need attention.
Just not in the way you’re thinking. We don’t need a bucket full of diamonds, to ride on an elephant through the city while people bow at our feet, or all your money.
We just want someone to be attentive.
To take notice of the little things we say or do. To hear us. To listen. Not for glory but with empathy. To show that you care.
It’s a basic human need but one so easily forgotten.
In the end, it’s maybe easier to just buy gifts than pay attention, but it’s how you show someone you love them and the little things you do can make or break someone's day.
5. Sometimes, We Have To Check
There’s a month when you feel off. Your period (always gross) is on its way but things feel different this time around. You can’t help but wonder.
And wonder more as your period approaches. what if this time you’re not going to have your period. What if, in that small percentage of a chance, your pill didn’t work. Or condom.
And you're pregnant?
So, even though you’re not having any other symptoms more than the normal premenstrual, which also happen to be near the same as pregnancy symptoms, (see how fun it is), you go out and buy a test.
And take it.
You don’t mind when the extra line doesn’t appear because really, you were just making sure.
Sometimes, we need to ease our minds.
So even though we didn’t want you to know this, there's a chance that if you find a pregnancy test in the trash, don’t worry, she just needed to know.
It’s fun to joke, right?
To laugh at the strange little things that women do.
But here’s the thing, and this may be the hardest one for you to understand because it breaks all the stereotypes of what women really are.
You don’t need thousand-page instructions on women, or even need to worry and contemplate what women want because of this one simple thing.
We’re just the same as you, guys.
Women, too, have self-doubt, wonder what men like, and want to be cool for you. We too think we can’t understand men. We humans, we’re all in the same boat trying to figure out our port from our starboard.
And, of course, tot all women are the same and may certainly not do each of these on the list.
But don’t be surprised if when you catch us in the shower we're playing with our hair, or if you should find a pregnancy test thrown out, or hear that we too think periods are gross and that we need some attention.
And that we are just like you.
Use your newfound knowledge wisely.