No, it's not your butt (this time)
You’re a bit nervous because tonight might be the night.
Not that you’d admit this to anyone but you picked out your shirt to be just right, and you’ve maybe paired it with a pretty cool jacket. A bit like Chris Pratt in that, maybe horrible yet hypnotizing movie, Passengers. Your hair is smoothed back tight and you’re feeling a bit like Elvis, super cool. Attractive.
But are you?
You walk into a bar or restaurant (imagine this pre-COVID) and suddenly your confidence drips away. Is your fly open? The jacket is making you hot and you’re starting to think it was a bad choice.
And your jeans? You’re sure your butt looks funny in them.
No one will want you tonight. You’re sure of it.
You would walk out but people have started looking your way and you don’t want to seem weirder than you already are.
So you sit.
And you drink.
And a woman sits next to you.
But what if I told you you don’t have to worry? While women do like nice butts and bods, there are three things they find super attractive that have nothing to do with how you look physically.
And guys, anyone can do them.
Don’t Worry. Be Cool, Boy. Confident.
People often say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing you are the beholder. — Salma Hayek
This first thing can help you when you do get to walk back into a bar.
Even if you have to force it.
You don’t have to worry if your jacket looks good or even if your fly is undone (isn’t that actually what you want anyway) as long as you have this.
I know you hear this a lot. Believe in yourself and you can do it, and all that jazz.
But, here me out.
When women see a guy and he has that air about him of knowing he looks good. That the pink shirt on him makes his dark hair stand out etc, we can’t resist.
We want to get to know him.
Confidence is the best thing you can wear. And here a just a few quick tips on how to be confident, without overdoing it.
- Be yourself
Like Star Wars?
There’s a good chance so does she.
A good tip during a conversation is to find out what the other person is interested in. People are naturally selfish, which means they’ll what to talk about their interests. If you find something in common, that will automatically make it easier to chat.
And you will seem more confident.
Which is super attractive.
Makes a world of difference.
Nervous? Visualize what you want to happen before you even step into the situation.
You naturally imagine all the bad things you think will happen, so instead trick your brain to think of what YOU want to happen.
You’ll be surprised to see how often this works.
- Take it in small steps
Try doing one thing that slightly frightens you every day.
That will get you some practice and teach you how to control your fears (as not being confident is due to fear), and help you realize some of the things you’re afraid of are worse in your head.
2. Take A Moment To Be A Child Again. And Play
If you can make me laugh, my heart is yours! I think there’s nothing more attractive than someone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously. — Shay Mitchell
I was a new teenager and can still remember this moment like yesterday.
We were outside on a lovely day. The sun shone in the grass making it look like shining emeralds.
And I had a crush.
He was nearby, running around in the sun with his blonde hair glowing. But it wasn’t his hair, clothes, or even his butt that had me inwardly grinning.
It was that he was running because he was playing with his little cousin.
When men are good with kids, women melt.
This doesn’t even mean that we want kids, it just makes our insides squirm with delight.
Plus, if you have the courage to act goofy around a little person, you seem confident.
It’s very attractive.
And this doesn’t just have to be with kids. Playing board games or acting goofy around women, to a point, generally makes you more handsome,
3. A Man Is Never Sexier Than When He’s Holding A Dustpan
You don’t get anything clean without getting something else dirty. —Cecil Baxter
I know many men out there may not like this next thing.
But it’s so true.
If you really want to turn your girlfriend or wife on, there's one simple way.
It just takes a bit of work.
Hear me out:
Society says, or has said for a long time, that a woman is to be the one to clean the house.
For example, it's hard to find a cleaning commercial without it being centered around a woman. You see one about vacuuming and it's a woman doing the voiceover. Dishes? You see her hand loading the dishwasher.
So, imagine you’re her.
You're exhausted from work, the kids, and the general laundry load of a list in your mind. With all these thoughts and societal demands, the last thing you want to do is to finally put those dishes in the dishwasher.
You walk into the kitchen, the tile cool on your naked toes.
And the dishes are done.
Your man stands there with a dishtowel on his arm and a grin on his face.
Sure, it’s both person’s job to clean but let me tell you, a man is never sexier than when he has a dustpan in his hand.
Whether you’re a husband, boyfriend, or any kind of lover, you may just find her attacking you with kisses instead of finishing those dishes.
To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don’t wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now. — Alan Cohen
I admit I’m no love expert; I’m just a woman who knows from experience what attracts her.
And has friends who feel the same way.
Maybe not every woman will react the same, but rest assured, the majority will love it when you play, do your part in housework, and have some confidence.
You’ll be that much more attractive.
And that much happier.