Be Impeccable With Your Word.

Jessica Lynn

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A single book has the power to lift me out of the depths of despair, transport me to another country, and transform my way of thinking. I’ve been fortunate to come across several books that do one or all of these things.

The one book which made the most significant impact on me and changed my perspective on how to live is The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by don Miguel Ruiz.

Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, Ruiz presents a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform lives for the better, it did for me.

The response to the post was so good — it’s one of my most-read posts — I’ve decided to drill down on each agreement in a separate post, one for each of the four agreements ( per week), starting with the first agreement: Be Impeccable With Your Word.

The Four Agreements found me just when I needed it.

I was going through a complicated relationship, and my old coping patterns were not serving me, I needed help out — through — and this book landed in my lap just at the right time.

When you are open to the possibility of learning something new, thinking a different way — reprogramming old brain patterns — your life can truly change.

My old way of thinking didn’t transform overnight.

However, over time, with practice, living with intention and mindfulness, you can recondition previous negative thought patterns that do not serve you into positive ones that make life easier.

Don’t beat yourself up over the past, we do better when we know better.

When we have the knowledge of a different way of being, sometimes that’s all it takes. First, you have to know a different way of being. It is the first step in transformation.

According to the book, “the first agreement is the most important one and also the most difficult to honor.”

I personally have more trouble with the Third Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions.

The First Agreement: Be Impeccable With Your Word

We first have to understand what impeccability means to grasp the first agreement fully.

In the Four Agreements, Ruiz recognizes impeccability to mean “without sin.”

He goes on to explain what it means to sin, “a sin is anything you do againstyourself.” You go against yourself when you judge, blame, or reject yourself. Being impeccable is precisely the opposite of this. Being impeccable means you take responsibility for your actions, but you do not judge, blame, or reject yourself.

Words have power

Words have the ability to seep into everything around you; they have the power to lift and the power to destroy. They become part of the furniture; they can hang in the air permeating every part of a room, so speak them with mindfulness.

Notice how the energy shifts in the whole house after an argument with your spouse, and you know what I mean.

According to the book, through your words, “you manifest your intent, regardless of what language you speak.”

Ruiz continues,

“The word is a force: it is the power you have to communicate, to think, and thereby to create the events in your life.”

Be careful with your word.

When you are “impeccable with your word” you,

  • Speak with integrity. What does ‘speak with integrity’ mean? It means to say only what you mean. Avoid using the words to speak negatively about yourself or others. Especially those people who have done you harm in the past. I’m not suggesting this is easy, especially when you’ve been hurt. But look at it this way, when you speak badly about other people, it hurts you. It stays with you. Use the power of your words in the direction of truth and love. Not easy, I know. But let it be. When you wish someone harm, it is like drinking poison yourself. Don’t drink poison, it won’t manifest into anything good.
  • Say what you mean. When you speak with integrity and say what you mean, you are impeccable with your word; you feel happy, light, and at peace because you didn’t use your words for harm. You used your words for connection and not disconnection from yourself and those you love.
  • Don’t gossip. When we speak ill of someone — we’ve all done it — we feel bad afterward. It doesn’t sit right, the negative words we use to tear someone down becomes a part of us, the energy stays with us. Even when we talk about a friend who is bothering us, we justify it by saying, “I need to vent,” but there is a price for venting, it weakens the bonds of trust you have with that person, even if they don’t hear your negative words. Speaking unkind words about others linger with you, and when you’re in the presence of that person, it becomes a wedge, whether you are conscious of it or not, it is there. Those who gossip about other people to you are sure to gossip about you behind your back.
  • Don’t speak negatively about other people. One little piece of misinformation or one word of criticism or hate can break down communication between people, even between families, causing every person it touches to become infected. We all know someone who hasn’t talked to a family member because of one heated argument that went downhill so quickly it caused a rift for entire generations. Be careful with your words, they have power, people and family members are irreplaceable.
  • Don’t speak negatively about yourself. Silence your inner critic. Rid irrational chatter from your mind. When we hear an opinion about ourselves, especially from our inner voice, we make an agreement about it, and it becomes part of our belief system. If you were told as a child that you aren’t smart, this message might have stuck with you. Until you make a different agreement, based on truth — you are smart — the old agreement will hold. Be very careful about the words you use, and the agreements you make about yourself, you will carry them whether you are conscious of them or not.

How this agreement will shift your life:

You will experience less negativity in your life, and you’ll experience less conflict with the people around you, whether that is with your partner, your boss, your friends, your family, your peers.

If you make just this one agreement with yourself to be impeccable with your word, you will be lighter, cleaner, and freer.

You will be clear of emotional poison.

If you practice this agreement with intention day in and day out, week after week, and year after year, your life will change — first in the way you see yourself, and then later in the way you see other people, especially those you love.

“If I love myself, I will express that love in my interactions with you, and then I am being impeccable with the word because that action will produce a like reaction. If I love you, then you will love me. If I insult you, you will insult me. If I have gratitude for you, you will have gratitude for me. If I’m selfish with you, you will be selfish with me.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

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Writing on all things California and Texas. It unfolds here. Your daily dose of local news. From politics to food, from celebrity culture to current events. Follow me for the latest updates. Twitter: @girl_thriving

Los Angeles, CA

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